Stopping in the garage on a summer evening

Today I was not quite as busy, nor quite as effective as yesterday. This is to be expected. High efficiency days are usually followed by a crash. I did not crash, but I am oh-so-tired. Tonight I need to get to bed before 3 am.

QFT is almost complete. This is good. It took over all of my work hours today. Tomorrow I need to re-focus on convention prep. Thursday has family stuff. Friday is RMS shipping day prep. I have it all lined up neatly. I’m sure it will be rearranged as soon as I get moving. Three more weeks and the vast majority of the work will be complete.

I keep thinking about the Robert Frost poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.” I’ve heard it argued that the poem is about suicide, but I don’t think so. I think it is just about being really, really tired and longing for rest.

“But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

I’ve felt exactly that lately. I am exhausted, but the desire to fulfill my commitments keeps me going even when I want to stop. I don’t have woods nearby, but every time I step into my garage I want to stay there. It is quiet and full of the smell of new books. It is filled with evidence of tasks completed. Right now my house is full of things to do.

I’m not worried over the long term. I can see the end of this crazy busy time. Calmer days lay on the other side. But the thought of all the things yet to do makes me want to cry. The only way out is through. So I’ll go to bed, and get up in the morning, and get back to work.