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This week I had my first experience with editorial notes on a piece of my writing that will be published. I found fascinating the emotional processes I had to dispatch so that I could focus on the suggested changes and decide how to implement them. The emotional arcs are particularly fascinating to me [...] Tomorrow I need to unpack my writer brain and work on an essay revision. Part of me longs to return to focused writing. Another part dreads the return of ambitious thoughts. I’m still soul-tired from the schedule this past summer. I’m still not feeling balanced in the school schedule or the [...] On Sunday I attended a social event with a group of people whom I enjoy. There were a couple dozen of us there and I had a great time. It was only after the fact that I realized that I was the oldest person at the event. (Howard stayed home with sick Patch.) [...] I have succeeded in rummaging through everyone’s drawers and assembling a set of clothes that will look coordinated for a family photo tomorrow morning. The intelligent thing to do would have been to do the rummaging yesterday so that I could go shopping if necessary. But I was not ready to think about [...] The convention is over. The boxes are packed and hauled away for shipping and storage. Nothing went wrong. There were no disasters. I can feel myself unwinding, relaxing. This whole event has been a very stressful one for me. It was filled with things I knew I could do, [...] My ambition appears to be AWOL right now. Not surprisingly in the absence of ambition, I’m finding it hard to feel stressed about this. I would probably be more worried about it, but it has done this before. My ambitious drive is somewhat similar to my childhood dog who would periodically escape [...] When I look in the mirror these days I feel weathered. Not old, I get too many things done and carry far too many boxes of books to feel old. But the mirror was not showing me things I wanted to see. I kept noticing wrinkles, and other signs of aging. [...] I have many metaphors to explain how my mind works. I swap them out at will, using whichever one most aptly describes my experience at that moment. Today I am picturing my life as a workspace with tables, shelves, cupboards, and filing cabinets. I am finally to a place where I am [...] Years ago we planted an apricot tree in our yard. It was a tiny twig of a thing, but we knew that if it survived it would someday bear fruit. Over the years it has borne fruit, ranging in amounts from five to 20 individual apricots. Apricot trees bloom so early that [...] Tomorrow I am on vacation. It is a retreat with some friends not the whole family. Retreat is a perfect name for it, because it is about time for me to admit that I’m outnumbered and overwhelmed. I need to get to a place where I’m not struggling to survive so that [...] |
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