Sandra Tayler

LTUE and next week

By / February 17, 2008 / 11 Comments

Conventions are the reward for all the hours of work that Howard and I put in at home. At conventions we finally have faces and voices for people who were previously anonymous hits on the website. Conventions are where it all begins to feel real. It works the other way too. Howard and I become real to people who have only known us through our work. At every single convention I attend I meet several new and amazing people. Most of the time these amazing people are not the ones I hoped/expected to meet when I arrive at the event. LTUE had both Orson Scott Card and Gail Carson Levine as guests of honor. I never had the chance to speak to either one of them. I am sure that they are wonderful people, but they were always either surrounded or rushing off somewhere. Howard did speak briefly with them both and even gave Mr. Card a copy of Under New Management. That’s enough, we’re happy. Among the new amazing people are Darwin Garrison of Darwin’s Evolutions, Joselle Vanderhoof a local poet/author, and Christie Skipper Ritchotte who reads slush for Shimmer. I had marvelous conversations with each of them. Then of course there were all the familiar amazing people. I am very fortunate to live in a place with a strong creative community.

I always come home from conventions exhausted, but invigorated. I want to dive into new projects and take advantage of the new opportunities that I have learned about. But this year I need to be careful. My plate is already so full that stuff is falling off. I can not dive into new things until I have finished off some of the old ones. Even more important is that I not upset the structure that I worked so hard to set up during January. The last few days were chaotic for us all, but now the kids need me to be back to making dinner and enforcing homework. They need me to be available to help them with the hundreds of things that seem little to me, but are big for them. So the primary focus for this next week is to re-establish normal.

In the business parts of normal I need to do the math to figure out how much we made attending this convention and exactly what merchandise sold. This is important because I need to ship merchandise to the two conventions that Howard attends next month and I need to know how much to ship. Also I need to prepare for my meeting with the tax accountant on Tuesday. Regular accounting needs to be done. Regular shipping also needs to be done. I need to figure out how many shirts have been pre-ordered so that I can give a preliminary count to our shirt guy. I want to plan a layout for the Hold on to Your Horses website. And hopefully I can do some work on The Teraport Wars as well. Oddly, I’m not oppressed by the quantity of things on my list for the week, but instead I’m looking forward to it.

A handful of love

By / February 16, 2008 / 7 Comments

I was getting ready to go. Kiki had already been briefed about all the resources at her disposal while she babysat the other kids. She’d been told the hours during which I needed the kids not to call because I’d be on panels. All that was left to do was say goodbye to the other kids and remind them to be good for Kiki.

Gleek was sprawled stomach down on the floor with the remains of her valentine’s day haul strewn around her. She had dumped out two little boxes of nerds candy and was sorting them by colors so that there was a pile of white balls and a pile of pink balls. She seemed to pay no attention to my admonitions, but as soon as I turned to go, she cried “Wait Mom!”

I turned back and waited. Gleek continued to sort balls. I shifted on my feet. If I did not leave soon, I would be late. Gleek popped to her feet and held out two tiny handfuls of nerds, one pink and one white.

“These are good lucks.” She said as she tipped the balls into my waiting hand. “There are five white ones and five pink ones. I counted. They will help you with your panels.” Gleek hugged me tight. “You’re my best mom!” Then she let me go.

I walked up stairs, cupping the little handful of candy. I’m not a candy person. Too much sugar gives me headaches. But what I held in my hand was more than just candy. It was also a little handful of love, an expression of support from my little girl. I could not throw it away as if it were mere sugar. I popped them in my mouth and savored the sweetness as I walked out the door.

I think they worked too, because the panels went well.

LTUE Day 2

By / February 15, 2008 / 3 Comments

My mind is buzzing and I’m too worn out to sort through all the thoughts tonight. All the thoughts are floating around and bumping into each other. I have thoughts about conversations I had today; conversations I meant to have, but didn’t; things I said on panels; things I thought up later that I wished I’d said; things other people said on panels; neat ideas for further marketing books; and a general sense of satisfaction with the whole event. I’ll be headed back tomorrow for the afternoon and evening. Perhaps tomorrow morning will provide some time for more coherent bloggishness.

LTUE 2008 Day 1

By / February 14, 2008 / 4 Comments

Like so many before him, the man meandered near our table covered with Schlock merchandise. I recognized the body language of “just browsing” and didn’t speak up from my seat behind the table. A person sitting behind a table of merchandise becomes amazingly invisible. He did not even notice me as I watched him. I saw him look at the covers of the books, then his head made a near imperceptible movement. I wasn’t sure I’d seen it, except that he did it again several more times as he read the schlock posters. He disapproved of what he was seeing and the minute movement of his head showed it. At that point I spoke up and offered him a URL card, telling him he could read online for free. I’m not sure why I did so, when I’d already figured out he wasn’t likely to want to read. He took the card to be polite and then left. I watched him leave, and realized that nothing I could say or do would make him like Schlock. Some people just won’t, no matter how much I might wish they would. But at least this guy was extremely polite. If I had not been watching so closely, I would never have known what he thought.

The exchange with Mr. Disapproval was a huge contrast to nearly every other interaction I had at LTUE. Dozens of people came up to me, already knowing my name, interested in what I had to say. I always expect everyone to know Howard, but I did not expect so many people to know me. I guess that happens when you attend the same convention multiple years running. This was our first year really running a merchandise table. During the hours I was there, Howard and I traded off. He would go listen to a panel, or be on a panel and I would sit at the table. Several times I handed out business cards or explained what Schlock Mercenary is to people who were interested. I’m very pleased to notice the huge contrast between today and my experience at a different convention three years ago. I have learned a lot about making conversation with strangers since that time.

I even got a chance to meet some of the folks who belong to the same online writer’s forum as I do. There were good conversations to be had there. Hopefully I’ll run into them again tomorrow. I also hope I get a chance to speak with Orson Scott Card, who is one of the guests of honor. I don’t need anything from him, but I would like to thank him for the books he has written. His writing had a huge impact on me when I was in my early twenties. I still feel some of the effects of that impact. Today, for example, I felt nervous when I realized that he had taken a seat across the room from me. I considered going over there, but did not want to be just part of the flock of people around him, hanging on his every word. It seems silly to be nervous, but I guess it is hard not to be in a situation like this.

Tomorrow is also the day of my panels. I’m looking forward to that. I have some great co-panelists. It should be fun.

Copy editing

By / February 13, 2008 / 3 Comments

In the process of creating a book you read it about a million times. I am so familiar with the words and pictures of Hold on to Your Horses that I can practically recite it from memory. Only I’d probably get it wrong because I’ve been familiar with all the different versions of it as the words have evolved. Last week I finally reach the stage where the words had all been as tweaked as I could make them. All the pictures had been examined and placed. It seemed ready to go, but I knew it wasn’t. I knew that there were mistakes in the book, but I am so familiar with all the words and pictures that my brain was auto correcting errors without even registering them. I needed other people to look at the book and tell me where the mistakes were. This is called copy editing.

I had six different people take a look at the book. They all found glaring errors that I’d been missing. There were capitals in the middle of sentences. There were places where the words overlapped the pictures and were hard to read. There were words in the wrong tense. There were some misspellings. Each time copy edits came in I would look and wonder how on earth I had missed the mistake all those millions of readings before. But the really interesting thing is that each editor found different mistakes than the others. There were a few overlaps, but each editor found 2-3 things that no on else noticed. One editor was very visual and noticed spacing problems. A couple caught grammatical errors. Another focused on awkward wordings. Each editor brought something new and valuable. I am very grateful to them all.

I made all the changes. I burned the files to disk. Then I shipped them off to China. It is tempting to keep sending the book around to other people. Everyone found errors, there are surely some more lurking in there. But I know from experience that no matter how many people look over a book, some error will slip past us all. It happens every time with the Schlock books. I can only hope that the error is sufficiently minor that few people will notice it.

Today in comparison to yesterday

By / February 13, 2008 / 3 Comments

Today has been a much more relaxed day compared to yesterday. I’ve spent most of it at home rather than running hither and yon. I’ve put in a good four hours of work. I finished the washing the laundry. I stuck in video after video for Gleek who greeted this morning with stomach flu. Best of all I got to take a nap. Yay for naps! They make a world of other things seem much more manageable.

Oh, and I sent files for Hold on to Your Horses off to China. It is done. Now comes the waiting for books to arrive.

Re-evaluation of my day

By / February 12, 2008 / 3 Comments

I just re-read my last entry and I’m not sure who I thought I was fooling. Today was insanely busy and by 7 pm I was exhausted and discouraged. I’d been legitimately busy all day long and I still had not gotten done the biggest things I’d planned for the day. Maybe I was fooling myself and maybe it worked because I got kids into bed, loaded the dishwasher and finally sorted all that dirty laundry. I also opened my planner and discovered that I’d actually remembered everything that was in it. I didn’t get it all done, but at least it was undone because I prioritized something else higher rather than because I forgot about it. Suddenly I feel much better about my day.

My life right now is busier than I want it to be. But if I can hang on, we’ll reach a tipping point where the Schlock business is too big for me to handle by myself and we’ll either hire help or partner with another business. I just need to keep going until then. and I need to remember that today was insanely busy, not all my days are quite as packed as today.

My day in hours and minutes

By / February 12, 2008 / 1 Comment

AM
6:30 drag myself out of bed
6:40-7:00 make breakfast and haul kids out of bed
7:00-7:10 prayers and scriptures
7:10-7:50 dump a huge pile of laundry down the stairs to sort it for washing, make kids eat breakfast, make kids get dressed, make kids find school stuff, make kids stop playing in the snow and get into the car.
7:55 drop Gleek and Link at school
7:55-8:20 forget I have to drop Kiki at school because she missed her bus, turn around and drive toward her school, absent mindedly drive past her school because my brain is busy planning out the rest of the day, turn around and take her there, then drive her back home to retrieve her forgotten clarinet, drive her back to school hitting all the correct turns this time.
8:20-8:30 talk with Howard in the kitchen planning out how the day needs to go and some upcoming plot points in the Schlock strip.
8:30-9:00 take a long overdue shower
9:00-9:25 sit with Patches helping him write his name on valentines and talking about preschool in the hopes that extra attention will help him go to preschool happily instead of clinging to me and crying.
9:25-9:35 drive Patches to preschool after he refuses to get in the carpool car. Once at preschool he dove into the activities and did not even look up to say goodbye.
9:40-9:55 fix and eat breakfast because I’ve been to busy to get around to it before.
10:00-10:30 drive to elementary school and watch a program where all the classes take turns singing
10:30-10:50 duck out of the program early once Gleek and Link have both sung, spend time talking with a friend whom I see far too seldom.
10:55-11:10 talk with Howard, tell him about the school program, step over the huge pile of laundry at the base of the stairs, contemplate sorting it so I can start the first load, get distracted
11:10-12:00 drive to the dollar store to buy prizes for our motivational prize box which needs to be replenished before this convention weekend, discover that 50 other people thought this was a great time for the dollar store too, wait in a very long line, drive home
PM
12:00-12:10 read scripts for Howard, laugh cause they’re funny
12:10-12:20 welcome Patches home from preschool, help him get settled finishing his valentines
12:20-1:15 Open my email for the first time all day, answer every email for which I have an answer, research answers so that I can answer the other emails, discover some emails that still need responses which must wait for another day
1:15-2:00 feed Patches, read blogs, read comics, read news
2:00-2:15 Help Patches with a video game
2:15-2:25 pick up Link and Gleek from school
2:25-3:00 hand valentines to Gleek and Link, help them spell a pile of names, eat a bowl of oatmeal because I didn’t have lunch yet, contemplate sorting laundry and starting the first load, decide to do dishes first, unload dishwasher, but don’t reload because Kiki arrived home
3:00-3:15 Kiki comes home from school with a bag of ice on her left arm and a note from her typing teacher saying Kiki might have carpal tunnel, poke and prod Kiki’s arm to determine that Kiki isn’t over dramatizing to get out of typing, she isn’t,
3:15-3:25 call Howard to consult about Kiki’s arm, he recommends a drop in chiropractic clinc
3:25-3:30 send Gleek to go play at a friend’s house, settle Link and Patches with a video game
3:30-4:10 drive to clinic, fill out papers, watch Kiki get adjusted, wait while she lays on the massage table, drive home
4:10-4:20 feed Kiki, remind Link that art lessons are today so that he doesn’t throw a fit when I declare time to go, realize I should retrieve Gleek from friend’s house so she can go with us on the art carpool, lay down on the bed instead
4:20-4:30 get woken up by Patches who needed something or other, announce “time for art” to Kiki and Link, run to grab Gleek from neighbor’s house, pile four kids and a package of graham crackers into the car
4:30-4:50 drive to art, unload Kiki and Link, they were 15 minutes late to a one hour lesson, drive back home
4:50-5:20 contemplate making dinner, feel exhausted and unprepared to argue with kids about eating, decide to buy it from the grocery store instead, sit down for a few minute’s peace and start writing this blog entry
5:20-5:45 load Gleek and Patches back into the car, drive to art, pick up Kiki and Link, drive to grocery store
5:45-6:15 herd four kids through the grocery store negotiating what to have for dinner, buy both a frozen pizza and fried chicken, Kiki and Link bounce around the store like cheerful ping-pong balls (Kiki is feeling better)
6:15-7:00 feed four kids dinner, eat dinner
7:00-7:30 sit down with my computer hoping for a few moments peace in which to finish this entry, I almost do
7:30-7:45 Gleek is headed for a tantrum, I read her two stories thus giving her the attention she needed to restore equilibrium

Thats as far as I’ve gotten in this day. Yet to go are cleaning up from dinner, snack time, bedtime, writing a check for merchandise that we need for the convention this weekend. Laundry and dishes are still undone. I haven’t even opened my planner yet today because I’ve been too busy. When I do, I’m sure I’ll find a nice logical list of things that I was supposed to get done today, but which can not possibly fit in the time that remains to me.

And yet, it has been a good day. I’ve been doing important things all day long. It is true I wish they were spread out a little more, but all of these things landed on my schedule because I am the one who wants them done. They are all things that I assigned to myself rather than things others assigned to me. There are not many people in the world who get to have that, and I am grateful.

And this is why I write

By / February 10, 2008 / 3 Comments

I just finished writing the previous entry “The battle of dinner.” It does a very good job of capturing my mood during the events described. In fact it does such a good job of capturing the mood, that it is all in the writing and none of it is left in my head. Now I can contemplate the marvelous things of today.
Howard being a patient mediator despite having an extremely painful abscess in his thumb.
Link demonstrating extreme thoughtfulness and social awareness by eating a muffin I made even though he really wanted to eat ramen instead, because he did not want to hurt my feelings.
How bright and loving my kids are to each other. We have plenty of squabbling and hurt feelings, but love and consideration are the norm.
Life is good even when we have a difficult day.