Author name: Sandra Tayler

Howard and I were invited by our friend Kevin Wasden to come to his house for a concert. He knows a couple of talented musicians and they performed for an hour. I didn’t go for the music. I went because it was a chance for Howard and I to go on a date. I hoped to have the chance to visit with Kevin, but I didn’t expect to be impressed by the concert itself.

Contrary to my expectation, I did enjoy the music. More than that, I was impressed by these two women. Stephanie Smith and Debra Fotheringham are both local, but they travel all over the country to perform at small concerts. They are both young musicians who are just beginning to spread their wings and fly. After the concert was over I got to talk with both of them. I got to hear about how they’ve arrived where they are and where they hope to go from here. They were delightful to talk to and I would love to visit with them more.

I walked away from the experience happy. I had never been to a house concert before. I love the idea that people can get together in a small social setting just to enjoy music and being together. I want to host events like that some day. I’m beginning to sense that there is this whole local network of creative motivated people. The more people in this network I meet, the more I am amazed. Without exception they have been fascinating and intelligent. Everyone is trying to help the others succeed. I know that not all creative communities function that way, but I love it.

I want to do more to build the local creative community. I want to be able to connect with creative people more often than twice per year at the local conventions. This is even more motivation to get my house into shape. I want to be able to entertain here. I want to do what I can to bring creative people together so that we can all help each other grow.

In that vein, you should all go check out Stephanie and Debra’s websites. They both have CDs available for sale. They each performed 7 songs and all were enjoyable, but four songs in particular really spoke to me. Stephanie’s “Self Portrait” and “Fragile Sometimes” both express things I’ve felt. Debra’s “Build me a Road” and “Waiting” had fascinating interactions between wordplay and music. They resonated for me by painting vivid pictures and moods.

Last night Howard and I sat down at 10:20 pm to watch two episodes of Bones. This late night indulgence was allowable because today is Saturday and we can all sleep in a little. We didn’t finish watching the second episode until about 1 am because Gleek was having an extended night terror. That is where the thrashes around and cries as if she’s hurting. Last night she even talked to us and responded to questions. But she was never truly awake because this morning she doesn’t remember a bit of it.

We also had to scold Link repeatedly because he kept playing in his bed rather than trying to go to sleep. He even went so far as to turn on his lamp, but point it at his pillow so we couldn’t see it. This led to a scorched pillowcase and a worried Link. In hindsight what he needed was human interaction. Lately he has been very much in his own world even when he is with people. I need to spend more time drawing him out. I also need to be limiting his video game time. Link was still awake at 1 am when Howard and I finished the second episode. He finally went to sleep, very distressed because both Howard and I had no more patience for him and we scolded him. Being yelled at is very distressing for him. So much so that he often reacts to angry voices even if they aren’t aimed at him. I know this, but at 1 am I have a hard time being the best parent I can be. Also all the noise woke up Patches.

Patches woke crying at 1:20 am because Gleek was noisy and the interactions with Howard and I and Link were noisy. The major cause of Patches distress was his eyes. They were all red and goopy. I realized that what I thought was just allergy eyes, was in fact an eye infection. So we pinned the poor boy down and put drops in his eyes. He was only half awake, so calming him after that was hard. In the end he and I curled up on the couches downstairs watching Blues Clues. I remember turning the tape on, but none of the rest. I woke up on the couch 7 hours later when Patches started bouncing around cheerfully.

After a night like that, today should have been a total bust. I expected to drag and get nothing done. Instead I got up and made waffles for breakfast. Then required all my kids to do their work and helped them. It wasn’t all cheerful, but it all got done. This wasn’t just picking up either. I made them do some scrubbing. We moved couches and vacuumed underneath them. All this effort was rewarded by my finally finding our third telephone handset. It has been missing for 6 months, forcing me to run upstairs any time I needed to answer the phone. It us now just under 12 hours after I fell into a grumpy/exhausted slumber to the sound of Blues Clues. I’ve only been awake for 3 and a half hours. I’ve done more work than I usually manage in 12 hours. Apparently I’ve gone into one of those exhausted/overdrive modes where I become super effective. Unfortunately those are followed by a crash day where nothing gets done. Maybe if I force myself to slow down and nap this afternoon I can skip the crash. That would be nice.

We have Mario Party for our old N64 game system. My kids have had many hours of enjoyment playing this game. Frequently they would plug in all the controllers so that they can control all of the players. I’ve seen Link do this many times. He plays all of the controllers in turn so that he can make sure that the right character wins.

Lately though they’ve found a new variation. They set up a four player game and make all the players be computer controlled. Then they sit back and watch the computer play the game. At first this baffled me. Why just watch a computer play? Then I realized that it held the same fascination for them as watching sports on television has for many people. They would each have a character they were rooting for. I could tell how the chosen character was faring by the groans or cheers I could hear chorusing from the family room.

Yesterday I went to dinner. It was a special dinner provided by our church young men’s organization to honor all the women in our congregation. The whole thing was planned, set up, and run by young men ages 12-18 and their youth group leaders. It was very impressive. The young men all wore white shirts and ties. They took the women by the arm and seated them at tables. Then they served the dinner while the women only had to sit and enjoy.

The young men were all so endearingly awkward. I could tell that they had been carefully coached about proper etiquette and they tried hard to remember it all. I think that was what impressed me most. These teenage boys were trying their very hardest to do everything they could to honor women.

I’m glad that the young men’s leaders did the enormous amount of work necessary to put on an event like this one. I think it is good for us all to honor each other and to treat each other courteously. I think of myself as a strong woman. I can manage most things for myself. But there have been times when I’ve been incredibly grateful that a man took the time to hold the door for me. I pay back the kind deed by holding doors for others when my hands are free.

I am not as courteous as I should be. In particular, I fail to extend courtesy to my children. Courtesy means giving the benefit of the doubt. It means choosing the kindest way to say necessary things. It means choosing not to say unnecessary and hurtful things. It means verbalizing our complimentary thoughts instead of keeping them to ourselves. Courtesy is trying to show our best selves to others, expecting them to do the same, and adjusting gracefully if they don’t. Courtesy is treating others as if they are people rather than tools or obstacles. Courtesy is often small, a smile, a held door, a please, a thank you. By such small gestures we as a society define who we are and who we want to be.

Each school day I have two precious hours between the time I drop Gleek off at Kindergarten and the time that I have to pick her up. Those two morning hours are my most productive time of the day. After I pick Gleek up there are more distractions and the afternoon ebb in my energy. Sometimes I still get things done, but more often I don’t. I anticipate next fall when Gleek will be in school full time and I will have a long stretch of day in which to get things done.

Today and yesterday my good working hours went into accounting work. I don’t think it should have consumed that much time, but it did.

Where do the hours go? I glance up and the time is gone and yet I still have piles of tasks to do.

One of my tasks for today was to take a nap. I’ve been shorting myself on sleep lately and I can feel it. Unfortunately I didn’t finish the accounting work until 3 pm. In a moment I’ll need to fetch Kiki from school. Then I have to head straight into Cub Scout activities. During cub scouts I have to be high energy and focused on helping the boys in my den.

Maybe the nap will come after that. But there is dinner to make and homework to supervise. Then later this evening I have an event to attend.

Hours of day left and none of it napable.

….It says something about the sneakiness of hours that I wrote this entry at 3:30, but then didn’t post it until almost 10.

Today Kiki came and asked me if she and a friend could make cookies. They had big plans to make a pile of cookies and sell them at a corner stand as a fundraiser. I happen to know that lemonade/cookie stands tend not to make much money when they’re set up in quiet residential neighborhoods. But the best way for Kiki to understand this is to let her experience it for herself. I agreed to let her make cookies on the stipulation that she reimburse me for the ingredients. She and her friend happily made a batch of cookies. Burned the cookies. Then made a triple batch of cookies. By this time it was 6 pm and I told her that she’d better freeze the cookie dough. That way she can bake the cookies on the day she intends to sell them. She cheerfully did this. Then I required her to clean up every bit of the mess that she made.

So far Kiki is still cheerful and hopeful. I intend to give this every chance to succeed. I’m going to recommend that she make flyers to pass out advertising the existence of her stand to neighborhood kids. But I expect that she and her friend will sit on the corner for hours and not make enough money to cover expenses. But she will never just take my word, she’ll have to learn this one for herself. And who knows, I could be wrong.

EDIT 5/14/2007: The sale happened last Saturday. Kiki and her friend sat on as street corner for 3 hours. They came home with a profit, but only because three adults seriously overpaid for their cookies. After expenses Kiki had a $2 profit. She enjoyed the experience, but doesn’t seem in a hurry to do it again.

Today was pleasant. The whirlwind in my brain quieted a little and I was able to drift along on the current of the day rather than constantly planning the next thing while still in the midst of the current thing. We were invited over for dinner and that was truly enjoyable. Eating food I didn’t have to cook is always nice, but the company was good as well. They even had a kid friendly house so I was able to relax rather than child manage. Even better, Gleek and Patches fell asleep on the ride home, so I didn’t even have to do a real bedtime.

Tomorrow I need to pick up my motivation again and get things done, but today was nice.