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Each time I take my kids to the zoo, I eye the zoo memberships and contemplate buying one. Then I remember that we go to the zoo about once every two years, so the extra expense doesn’t seem worth it. But I got thinking, would we go to the zoo more often if it did not cost so much money each time we went? I think the answer is yes, we’d go more often. The only way to answer the question for sure is by performing an empirical test. So I bought a zoo membership for our family and one guest.

Today was our first trip to the zoo using the new pass. I like it already. We did not have to stand in line for tickets to get in, we just flashed the card and away we went. I even got to bring Janci as my one guest. The card also got us a discount on the train ride tickets. It was all so easy and I started picturing myself doing individual mommy/child visits to the zoo. If the zoo becomes a regular outing rather than a major event, then that sort of thing becomes possible. I could do birthday trips to the zoo where the birthday child brings a friend. In a couple of weeks my sister is coming to visit. It would be fun to take Patches and her two young kids to the zoo while the other kids are in school. I definitely want to take the kids up several times this summer. It will be good to have outings since we’re not planning any big family trips. I even picture myself ditching all the kids and going to the zoo by myself so that I can follow my own relaxed agenda rather than working crowd control.

The first hour of our zoo visit was a mad dash from exhibit to exhibit. It was hard to shake the “we must hurry to see everything” mentality. Also driving the hurry was the mesh of conflicting agendas. Kiki would have been happy to stay by the elephants, but Gleek wanted to see the mountain lions, and Link wanted to see the monkeys. The penguins broke the mad dash. Everyone was happy to stand and watch the penguins for a long time. That was where we had lunch. I think Kiki liked the wolves best. Gleek loved the red panda. Patches was enthralled by the turtles, it was the one animal he dragged me over to make sure I saw. Link liked all the animals, but even better he loved tracking our progress and path on the map. Everyone liked the train ride and the playground.

Like most busy days, a lot of the trip blurs together. A few things do stand out. We got an impressively close look at the visiting albino crocodile. Patches has crossed that invisible line after which boys are no longer willing to walk with their mothers into the women’s restroom. He was very pleased with his solo trip into the wilds of the Men’s Room. I think my favorite place in the zoo is the small animal house. There is such a variety of creatures packed into a small space and I can get a really close look at them. Or rather I could get a close look if I weren’t so busy keeping track of excited children. They really did very well at staying together. Even Gleek quelled her enthusiasm enough to bounce in place while she waited for us to catch up. Although sometimes she was the one lagging behind because she was determined to look at every single thing in the zoo.

It was fun. We are all tired and a little bit sunburned. Now I just need to weather the cranky until bedtime.

It turns out that the day after taking my kids on an outing, I have little desire to do it again. I’ve been dragging all day. Combine that with stormy weather and our big activity for today is going to be watching a movie. I did take the three younger kids with me to the grocery store. Perhaps I can count that as an outing.

In other news my sister-in-law’s surprise pregnancy has become a surprise early birth. Babygirl is 10 weeks early. They’ve only known they were pregnant for about two months. So far things are going as well as can be expected, but Babygirl will have to spend the next two months in the hospital. All of that on top of the fact that they’re moving by the end of this month. I’m trying to figure out if there is any way I can help from three hours away.

At least I got some layout work done on Teraport Wars today. We’re inching ever closer to being done with that book. This is important because we’re also inching ever closer to running out of money.

And now I need to get up and do some of the housework that I’ve been walking past all day.

I stood on my porch with tears in my eyes as I watched Link fumble his feet on the pedals and wobble his way down the cul de sac. He was riding a two wheel bike, completely unaided, and enjoying it. Being able to ride a two wheeled bike is a rite of passage. It transforms a little kid into a bigger kid. It is a passage that has eluded Link when all his peers were zooming on their bikes and doing tricks. It was a measurable thing that he could not do and his friends could. He has possessed all the necessary physical skills for two years, but he was afraid. Because he was afraid, he didn’t try enough to get comfortable. Many times I would insist that he try to ride his bike. I would run along, coaxing, encouraging. But the drive to learn was not there in him, and so the efforts failed. Today Link climbed on a bike and just went. He was peddling and wobbly within five minutes. Within 30 minutes he was zooming up and down the cul de sac just like he’d been doing it forever. He spent half the day on that bike and loved every minute. And my eyes watered with joy at his achievement. He did it all himself.

There was no school today. It is Spring break, so the kids are on vacation. I am too. I have plans for outings each day this week. Today we went to a park and to Arctic Circle for for ice cream. In the four days remaining we’ll go swimming, roller skating, to a park with a museum, and to the zoo. The specific days will be dependent upon the weather. In return for this stream of joyful activities, the kids are being asked to do some extra work. Today we did a backyard clean up. We’ll also be doing spring cleaning indoors. It is like a taste of summer. But it is only a taste, because one week from today we’ll have to go back to school for six more weeks.

Spring break has begun. For the next week my kids will be home all day every day. This significantly changes the rhythm of things around my house. I’m planning to treat the time as a semi-vacation for me. I’ll be taking the kids on outings to get them out of the house. Otherwise we’ll all end up squabbling and grouchy in very short order. It looks like we might even have nice weather for most of it. Yay.

The following is a list of the things I have done/ will do to lay out Schlock Mercenary: The Teraport Wars. The list makes the process look neat and orderly. It isn’t. In reality, multiple steps were all mixed up together as I did parts of step 2 at the same time as step 4 or something like that. (It seemed smart at the time.) This list also makes it look like I could get it all done in a matter of days. Not so. Most of these steps took several days to accomplish. And then there was all that time I spent tearing my hair out in between steps and during steps as I tried to figure out how to make things work. I wish I’d had this list when I started, but I couldn’t have written it then. Anyway, here it is. …

How I do layout on the Schlock books.Read More »

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow” — Mary Radmacher

I saw this quotation in the livejournal of one of Howard’s friends. It really resonates with me and so I wanted to keep track of it. Sometimes trying again tomorrow is all I can do.

Each year I begin re-reading the prior year’s journal entries. The primary reason for doing this is to catch the typos before I create a printed and bound version using LJbook.com and Lulu.com. I love having the printed versions sitting on my shelf even though the online versions are much easier to search. This year I did not get started on my read through until just yesterday. I’ve been too busy and stressed. Further evidence of how crazy this past year has been is that I keep reading events from January of 2007 and thinking “That was more than a year ago? Really?” Apparently time has slipped away from me. My children all got a year older and I hardly had time to notice.

Today I took time to look at them all. More than that, I took time to listen to them and think about who they are. I really am very fortunate. I have four healthy, intelligent, beautiful children. When I think about how easily that could change, my heart wants to stop. So instead of pondering potential disasters, I will try to absorb today’s experiences.

I woke up at 4am this morning, unsure why I was awake. Then I realized that someone had called for me. I found Link sitting up in his bed. The room light was on. His reading lamp was on. The nightlight was on. Even Patches toy lantern was on. Link had been scared and turned on every light he could find. I still haven’t gotten a clear story for why Link woke up. I think he had a worrisome dream. He came with me back to my room and slept the rest of the night on the little pad we pull out from under my bed for just such occasions. We call it the kidbed. Fortunately Patches was completely undisturbed by these antics because at some hour prior to them, he had gotten out of his bed and crawled into bed with Kiki. Patches has been doing that a lot lately and I haven’t stopped him because both Kiki and Patches seem to enjoy it.

This morning Gleek threw a kicking, screaming tantrum over being awakened at the usual hour. It was unpleasant, but for once I did not give any ground at all on her expected behavior. Mostly I didn’t give ground because I let Howard handle it. Afterward there were snuggles with blankets. As usual, once the storm was over, Gleek was exceptionally cooperative for the rest of the morning. She went off to school happy.

Patches and I had a quick reading time just before preschool. He sat on my lap and followed my finger as we spoke the words of an easy reader. Mostly I say the word and he repeats it, but he’s beginning to remember words like “the”, “and”, “I”, and “a”. For those words I just point and wait for him to read it. We work with phonics too, but today there wasn’t time. At lunch Patches and I had a conversation about how sometimes ideas pop into our heads and we don’t do them because they aren’t good ideas. We then decided that letting him paint was a good idea, so we got out the paints.

Gleek and Link arrived home from school together. Today I was sitting in the front room waiting for them, so I was ready to hear about their days. So often lately I’ve been downstairs busy and done no more than shout “welcome home” before going back to work. Today I got to hear Gleek’s tale of woe. Her lima bean seed that she’s growing in a plastic bag with a moistened paper towel has developed mold and is dead. None of the other kids in her class had this problem and she is quite upset about it. Her little forehead creased and tears filled her eyes. I watched her and tried to remember what it is like when the death of a lima bean seed feels like the end of the world. Gleek recovered quickly. Within minutes she was telling me how the seeds of her friends were growing and that next time she has a seed, she won’t water it quite so much.

Kiki bounced home from school with a bag full of books. She was quite happy about this because not one of the books was for homework. She had three books on how to draw Manga. Two books borrowed from the school library in a series that she’s been reading. And the second Mistborn book, which she’d hauled to school with her that morning. She loved the first one. Now she is loving the second one as well. Next I expect her to be pestering me or her Dad to see if we can get an advance copy of the third Mistborn book which is due out this fall. Kiki unloaded her pile and then went for my ipod. Usually my ipod sits plugged into speakers in the kitchen, but Kiki has begun unplugging it and listening to it with headphones. She’s saving up for an ipod of her very own, but until then she’s content to shanghai mine. I don’t really mind. She is very good about giving it back if I want to listen to something. We’re already working to teach her proper headphone etiquette; namely she must remove the headphones from her ears to speak to others or anytime someone else tries to speak with her. She agrees with the concept, but, as with many things, application is a little harder.

I asked Link about his art lessons today. He’s tired of them, they’ve turned into work. I knew this, but I’d hoped he could make it through the end of the school year, which is a natural stopping point. Unfortunately Link has begun entertaining himself by doing the opposite of what the teachers ask him to do. They tell him to draw a line down, he’ll draw it up. Since the line is still in the same place, it is possible that these minor defiances are going right under the teacher’s radar, but I’m loath to risk it. I still remember being pulled aside by an art teacher because Kiki was being rude and defiant to them. So I’m thinking of letting Link stop. Kiki stopped and then voluntarily went back a couple years later. I don’t want to kill Link’s enjoyment of art by forcing him to stay in lessons that he has stopped liking.

When I start paying attention, it is amazing the quantity of things fill the lives of my children every day. This is only a sampling. I need to keep watching so this year doesn’t vanish the way that 2007 did.

“Mommy? When we get home I want to take some [polyfill] stuffing and put it on the back of the couch. Then I will pretend the couch is a mountain and climb it.”
This sentence from Gleek was spoken into the silence of a long car ride. Fortunately I was able to recall a conversation from the week before which made sense of the odd proclamation. On the prior occasion Gleek had noticed fluffy clouds sitting on a mountain top and expressed a desire to climb the mountain and get a bag full of clouds so that she could make them into pillows. The idea kept stewing in her brain until she came up with this other option.

My kids do this to me all the time. They burst forth with an exclamation, or question, or comment that is completely apropos to their train of thought, but for which I have to scramble to make sense. Like the time that Patches declared “One day I saw a fish.” The phrase “one day” can mean anything from “earlier this morning” to “years and years ago,” so that wasn’t much help. Also not particularly helpful was the fact that we were standing in the middle of the Seattle Aquarium looking at tanks of fish when Patches made his pronouncement. I could tell that this time of seeing fish had reminded him of some other time when he saw a fish. I was never able to determine what that other time was, because Patches’ train of thought had moved onward to go see the octopus.

I call these experiences “trains out of nowhere” because it is very much like standing still as a train barrels past. Sometimes I can figure out where the train came from and where it is going. Other times all I get is a glimpse of the train. It is a reminder that each of my kids has a whole world inside their heads. Their ideas and thoughts are in motion constantly and their experience of an event will be very different from mine because even though we are standing next to each other physically, we are worlds apart in our brains.