Uncategorized

Writer fugue is when the worlds inside my head obscure my ability to see/respond to the things surrounding me. It would be nice if every occurrence of writer fugue resulted in pages of amazing prose, but sadly this is not the case. I did some note taking, a little bit of drafting, and lots of thinking. Sadly, the other things in my day did not get sufficient attention.

Primary among these things is arranging for an activities committee meeting so I can assemble a team for the church Christmas party. I simply can’t pull that one off solo. And yet I keep procrastinating calling the meeting. I would not mind attending the meeting. I think I’ll actually enjoy being in charge of the meeting. I know the meeting is critical, but I don’t like arranging for the meeting to exist. At this point, I’ll have to schedule it for Tuesday instead of tomorrow in order to give people enough notice.

I need some more focus and prioritization. It’s good that tomorrow is Sunday and such things are much more likely to be found there.

It has been a very low productivity day. I think this is because all of my spare energy has been siphoned into beating back the cold that is trying to make me sick. I’ve kept the thing at bay like Dr. Van Helsing hanging garlic and crosses in Lucy’s bedroom to keep Count Dracula out. Unfortunately I fear that like Lucy I will eventually succumb and be walking dead. Or at least sniffling miserable. I have a much better chance of recovery than Lucy, so all is not lost. For now I will keep to my regimen of vitamin C and rest.

I took a nap this afternoon. It was interrupted twice in quick succession by Link who was asking permission to play a video game and then to play a different video game. I don’t remember the words of my response, but apparently they were sufficiently affirmative that he went away happy. My half-asleep brain pondered the occurrence with a grumpy tone of voice. Does no one respect my need for sleep? The kids will see Dad asleep and tip toe out of the room, but have no compunction at all about waking me from a sound sleep to ask their questions. This is true even when their Dad is around. Our kids have been known to walk out of the room where Howard is in order to wake me up and ask a question.

The simple solution would be for me to lock the door. Faced with a locked door, the kids would go find their Dad to get their problems solved. I don’t lock the door when I lay down for a nap. Half the time I don’t even close the door. To close and lock the door would be a declaration that the next period of time is designated for a nap. Somehow in my mind I’m only sneaking a nap. I still feel on-duty, so I leave the door open so I can still hear and respond to crises. It is silly, because unconscious people are not very watchful. When the kids were little I was clearly on duty and I didn’t sleep unless they were also sleeping or someone else was specifically assigned to watch them. Somewhere the lines got blurred.

After the interruptions I got a solid hour of sleep, so my nap was far from ruined. This is usually the case, which is part of why I’ve never taken steps to train the kids not to wake me. It is important for me to be available to them as much as I can, because sometimes I have to work.

Mondays always feel short, but this one felt even shorter than usual. I think it was the extra trips in the car. Today was one of Kiki’s late days, so that delayed the start of my work day. Then Howard needed a ride to the auto place because the Beetle’s battery died unexpectedly. Then Gleek and Patch needed warmer clothes at school because the weather surprised us. After that there was the retrieving of the car. And the kids get out of school early on Mondays.

In between all of that, I got the accounting and customer support emails done. Things have calmed down considerably on the business front, which means it is about time for us to take stock in advance of holiday promotional efforts. I also put in some writing time, which I feel good about. Hopefully tomorrow can be equally productive and less scattered.

The Halloween carnival went very well, or so I surmise from the kind comments of people who told me “good job.” I don’t feel like I saw very much of it. My focus was on making sure the food table stayed stocked, and then on getting all the decorations, tables, and chairs cleaned away. There were a few minor organizational troubles (Note to self: More ranch dressing, pre-test the microphone, and music for children’s parade) but nothing that impinged on the enjoyment or awareness of those who were in attendance. It was a good event.

And yet, I felt like a failure in the exhausted hours before bedtime. After I slept, I was able to sort out why. I failed to organize a large enough team for the event. I did too many jobs myself and too many gaps were covered by spur-of-the-moment volunteers. I am so grateful to the dozen people who pitched in to help clean up. I am grateful to the people who saw problems and solved them. It is because of them that the event worked. I knew that the event would be full of people willing to volunteer, I depended upon that, but it is better to have a crew of people with assignments to help focus the volunteers. I also depended too much upon my own family. Howard helped me run the event. The kids all helped with the decorations and set up. This meant that when I got home, the house was a wreck, everyone was tired and over stimulated. No one had the time or energy to reassure me that everything went well. All the evidence of success had been cleaned up, what remained was the evidence of all the family tasks I did not do because I was too busy doing carnival.

This morning brought a world of improvement. Howard managed the kids because it was all I could do to drag myself off to church. He even had Link carry all the loose bowls and ladles that I brought home to wash before returning. Howard also rallied the kids and got the house cleaned up. All of this helped me feel immeasurably better. This is important because my brain began to fill with ideas for the Christmas party which is the first Saturday in December just over a month away. Sorting out why I crashed so hard last night means I can plan better for the next party. The first assignment I made was to tell Howard that his only job for the Christmas party is to take care of the house and the kids while I’m busy. That step alone will make a world of difference.

Doing things myself instead of delegating is something I need to work on. It is probably a major reason I run myself ragged more often than I should.

Note to Universe:

I just finished organizing and event managing a Halloween carnival for 200+ people. I am excused from everything else for the rest of the weekend.

Thanks,
me

(I doubt it will work, but I can try.)

Yesterday was long and full of things to think about. Today was long and full of things to think about with the added bonus of a trip to the emergency room to take pictures of the bones in Patch’s arm, which is thankfully not broken. I’m a bit wrung out. Here’s hoping that tomorrow can be less full.

At the beginning of the school year I made some adjustments to our family diet with the primary aim of reducing Gleek’s sugar intake. The core of plan was effective, we all eat less sugar now. The structure of the plan has taken a beating, so we’ve adjusted. Instead of having sugar free days we’ve shifted to limiting sweet treats to afternoon hours. This week I made another adjustment, I’ve started requiring Gleek to eat protein at breakfast and first thing after school. The idea is to help her have a steady supply of energy rather than a spike and crash. A side benefit of the plan is that my attention to food has us all eating healthier.

A huge stumbling block in my sugar-reduction plan looms on the horizon. Halloween is the most massive sugar-fest of the year. My kids love Halloween. I love Halloween. We will not be abstaining, but I believe that there are many things I can do to alleviate the net sugar impact. We’ll be giving out small prizes instead of candy this year. This will prevent us from having a bowl full of temptation in the front room. I’ll also be instituting the candy buy back where I trade money for sugar. Beyond that, we’ll just weather whatever cranky storms come our way. The holiday is worth the ride I think.

I knew when I entered the building that kickboxing is probably not the right class for me, but Howard knew the instructor and he used the excuse of introducing us to maneuver me into going. Howard loves the gym. It makes him sad that my membership has been mostly unused for quite a long time.

Introductions were performed and I stood in the class wearing a borrowed set of gloves and feeling sorely out of place. Then the music started and I also got to be confused and out of step. By half way through the class I had figured out some of the movement patterns which made it possible for me to enjoy the sensations of active moment. The physicality of the activity was something my body has been craving for awhile. So Howard’s plot has succeeded in that I’ll probably go to more classes. I’ll pick something dance based though. Punching and kicking hold no joy for me.

As I summed it up for Howard, the things I did not like about today’s class are all easy to adjust. The exercise itself felt really good. I was very pleased that I had the endurance and muscle strength to keep up. I did not like feeling like a newbie even though I was one. This was exacerbated by my awareness of my baggy clothes and ratty old shoes among all the shiny, slim, new gear. I don’t think anyone was judging me, but I had a really hard time pushing down negative thoughts about my own appearance. This was particularly true since I last used my tennis shoes for mowing the lawn so they were stained green and shed dried grass clippings on the hardwood floor. I feel bad about that part.

Exercise is supposed to be one of those things where adding it into your schedule makes things better. I shall try and see.

The last round of IEP (Individual Education Plan) and SEP (Student Education Plan) meetings are now done. I have met with various educators to speak about my children and mostly the educators think my kids are great. This last round of meetings was filled with smiling and nothing at all to be concerned about. This is good news. It means that the set up work for this school year is finally complete. Now we can get on with steady sailing.

And on that thought, I’m taking the rest of the evening off.