I am more vigilant of Gleek than the other kids. When she gets in an argument with other kids, I intervene. When she’s wandered off my radar then I go find her. It occurred to me today that this is not fair to her. True she is more quick to anger than my other kids, but she keeps it in bounds. True I often have to figure out where she has disappeared to, but I always find her in a place that she is allowed to be. I keep reacting as if she is unpredictable and this is manifestly untrue. Gleek is awesome. Even in the midst of fury she chooses her words and actions. She sometimes says mean things, but she thinks even meaner things and chooses not to say them. That level of self control in a ten year old is amazing. When I look at who she is, I am always impressed. Unfortunately I often view her through a lens called “fears for the future.” Wearing this lens gives me the false belief that today’s behavior will be carried into the future. It is not true. Kids develop and change. I need to address the Gleek of today with kindness, love, and appreciation. If I can do that every day, then the Gleek of the future and I will have a good relationship. It will all be fine.