Worry Moment
I’m feeling my way forward with a mind that wants to race ahead and solve all the problems of the next three months. As if that were the only way to feel calm, to already know all the answers. Impossible task given the variables and unknown factors. So I sit with anxiety this morning, trying to soothe it into settling. It settles like a cat who naps in my lap only to leap into action at the slightest provocation. Readiness to respond cloaked in the appearance of rest.
I breathe and remember that it is only today’s problems that I need to manage. All else can wait. I breathe and remember that none of these problems are mine alone, I live in collaboration. It is not my task to always fix while others rest. I breathe and remember the green space outside my back door where I should go and listen to trees. I breathe and remember to type thoughts, and to not scroll, and to let go.
Remembering is work, a task to track. One of many many many. Switch the laundry. Cancel that appointment. Make a grocery list. Drive an errand. And remember today is for breathing. Remember why tasks matter. Remember to share the contents of my worry basket. Remember I don’t have to carry the worry basket with me everywhere I go. I’m allowed to put it down. (If I can figure out how. It seems to be attached?)
So I pin the worries into words that are poetry adjacent. Perhaps when I close this file, the worries will stay put and I can move on without their company.