Sandra Tayler

When a wide-eyed, urgent Gleek ran to me shouting “Mommy! You have to come and see!” I wasn’t very impressed. Usually this behavior means that she wants to show me a mushroom or how she can jump off the swing. But then she announced that a big brown helicopter had landed in the church parking lot only two blocks from our house.

She was so urgent and insistent, that I took her to go and see. Sure enough, an apache helicopter was sitting in the parking lot at our church. It had already acquired a crowd of curious onlookers and a police cruiser to help manage the onlookers. Apparently the apache was on its way to be part of a parade when some tell-tales told the pilot to land NOW. When I arrived they were waiting for a mechanic to show up. While they waited the two pilots were happily letting kids climb on the chopper and explaining how everything works. Gleek was in heaven. She chattered with the pilots and climbed up on the chopper. In no time at all, she was an expert on everything.

I stood back and watched Gleek as she explored the chopper. The juxtaposition of petite little girl in a pink nightgown and blonde ponytail perched up on that olive drab military chopper was very interesting. Several times her antics made some kind adult reach up and lift her down. I guess she was making others nervous. I wasn’t nervous. I’ve seen her do much more daring things a million times before. She really is a strong little monkey.

When the mechanic arrived, all the spectators were asked to step back. He changed out a few parts then they fired up the engines and ran the blades for a bit. Then they changed out a couple more parts. Eventually they fixed the problem sufficiently that the chopper could take off. As I saw the huge machine take to the sky I marveled at the wonders of modern engineering. The chopper was huge with millions of working parts. It may be odd of me, but for a moment I was glad that we have a military so that we can support such beautiful and amazing machines. I think it was even more beautiful for the fact that no effort was made to make it shiny or pretty. That apache was a work machine, built to do a job. I get some of this same feel whenever I watch construction machines at work.

The apache lifted off, blowing a cloud of dust at everyone. Then it roared off into the sunset. Literally. I lost sight of it because the setting sun was in my eyes. Then in the cool evening Gleek and I walked home together. I’m so glad I took the hour to go and see what Gleek was excited about.

This past week Kiki has been attending Girl’s Camp. This is where the church youth group leaders take all the girls aged 12-18 for a 5 day trip to a camp in the mountains. It was not Kiki’s first time away from home for an extended period of time, but for whatever reason we all missed her a lot during the past week. Gleek and Patches were both counting down days until she returned. Link planned a special surprise for when she got back. I even cleaned up her room and folded her clothes for her. I worried that she would be cold and miserable. I wanted her to enjoy girls camp as much as I always did as a teen.

Today she came charging in the front door, reeking of campfire and dirt. Her face was sunburned and her chin had been scraped and her hair was a tangly mess. But her smile made all those things fade away. She glowed with the wonderful time she had and with the joy of being back home. Everyone clustered around her and hugged her. Then we sent her quickly to the shower. I’m so glad to have her back. Things feel right again.

This afternoon I found myself craving fried chicken. More specifically, I was craving Kentucky Fried Chicken. I blame this craving on my Grandma. She grew up in the deep south and always made sure there was a fried chicken dinner when we came to visit. Most of the time se fried the chicken herself, but when she didn’t, there was KFC. As a result, I associate the taste of fried chicken with happy times and county fairs.

Today the solution to my craving was simple. I’d already promised the kids a trip to the park. I just turned the trip into a picnic as well. Picnics are invariably inconvenient. You have to haul all of the food to the picnic spot. Then you are plagued by wind and bugs and stray dogs and insufficient flat surfaces. Lift itself is rarely convenient. If we aren’t willing to accept some inconvenience for the sake of experience, then we will never do many of the things which make life worthwhile.

After all the inconvenient hauling and arranging was done, I sat on the park bench with the sun on my back and the taste of childhood in my mouth. My children did not properly appreciate the fried chicken. They haven’t had a southern grandmother the way I did. She is still around, but at 87 she doesn’t have much energy for cooking anymore. Link examines his chicken too closely and always finds “oogey bits” that he doesn’t want to eat. Patches declared that he was pretending that it was a dead chicken and that he was eating it. Gleek declared her absolute love for fried chicken, but was soon lured away by the siren call of the playground. Kiki would have appreciated the chicken, but she’s at girl’s camp this week. I’ll save some for her to eat when she gets home tomorrow.

Patches and Link soon followed Gleek to the playground and I was left alone with the detritus of the picnic. I pondered a little as I cleaned up. KFC is an indulgence that I rarely allow for myself. It is expensive and it isn’t allowed anywhere near the list of healthy foods. Because we have it so rarely, I don’t think it will hold the same magic for my kids when they are grown as it does for me. I watched them play and wondered what they will crave instead. What foods that I feed them now will they associate with happiness and security? Key Lime Pie yogurt will probably make all of their lists, but I really don’t know what else will. Comfort food is not dictated by logic or planning.

We had a very enjoyable couple of hours at the park. I’m so glad that I don’t have to trail within three feet of my kids anymore. Now as long as I can see them, I can sit on a bench and write or read while they play. This fact makes me much more willing to stay for hours. I would get so bored following kids around and telling them to be careful. When all the running was done we came home tired, dirty, and with left over fried chicken to snack on. It was a good outing.

Yesterday I discovered that the recent rise in postal rates may have killed our international market. The rates on foreign packages more than doubled. This means that instead of $10 for 1-3 books it now costs $21 for 1-3 books. I suspect our international sales will plummet. This makes me stressed about keeping the ends meeting.

EDIT 6/7/07: I was wrong about the international rates. They only went up a little bit. The mailers we use are now $12 instead of $10. Whew!

Yesterday it was 40 degrees and rainy all day. It felt like March and I wanted to hide from the weather. Each time I looked out the windows I thought about Kiki who is on a youth group camping trip this week. She’s up in the mountains where it is probably snowing. I kept fretting, wondering if we’d packed her enough warm clothes. I really hope that she manages to have fun rather than spending the whole trip miserable.

Yesterday I completely forgot Link’s check up. I remembered it at about 9pm. I rescheduled it for today, but it isn’t like me to completely miss an important appointment. I almost missed cub scouts too, but I scrambled and made that. I still haven’t acclimatized to this summer schedule.

Yesterday I spent a large portion of the day managing our clearance sale orders. But for all the time I spent, we get to keep $250-300 of the money that came in. Howard pointed out that this was probably not the best use of my time which made me grumpy. It made me grumpy because he was right.

So yesterday was a scattered, frequently grumpy, housework avoidance day. It ended well, but I’m hoping today is better.

Summer days are very long. I’m not just talking about hours of daylight here. I’m talking about the huge swathes of time where I have no constraints on my schedule. It is now 2:45 pm and I keep having the nagging feeling that I’m supposed to be somewhere. I am accustomed to having a rush of activity this time of day because I have to pick up kids from school and drop them at various activities. Today there is nothing. I have nowhere to go. For today this is good because I have a pile of accounting to plow through. But I need to not get lazy. I need to not look at the big blocks of time in my schedule and put things off because there will be plenty of time to do it later. In fact I’m doing my best to break up the days into manageable chunks dedicated to particular tasks. Mornings belong to the house and the kids. Early afternoon goes to business stuff or outings depending on the day. Evening belongs to the kids. But there is still so much time to fill. I love it. It frightens me. I get so much more done when I have a million things to do.

Today I was in a church meeting where the speaker was talking about how to strengthen families. I believe that strong families are the best preventative for many of societies ills such as drug abuse and violence. The speaker gave six principles which if followed will strengthen families. I know that not everyone who reads this blog shares my belief system, but perhaps some of it may be useful to you. I know that thinking about these things was helpful to me. At different times I’ve done each of these things with my family and when we are doing them we have more peace in our home and more happiness as a family.
Six things that will strengthen families:

Family Prayer: Taking time to gather together to express gratitude for the many things we have given and to ask for help with our problems. This shared petition connects the family members with each other as well as with God.

Family Scripture Study: This provides a place for parents to discuss beliefs and values with children. It also provides a time for everyone to remember that we are all trying to become our best selves. Most importantly, it provides a quiet space where the spirit of inspiration can provide the family with direction.

Family Home Evening: This is one night each week when all distractions are set aside and the family does something together. Sometimes it is a game, sometimes it is a discussion of a family problem, sometimes it is a religious lesson. The primary purpose is to build a group identity and shared memories.

Attend Church as a Family: This has many of the same purposes as scripture study. I know that my attendance at church has made me a better person. Each week it reminds me of the person I am striving to become and gives me renewed energy to keep trying to be better. I’ve seen the same effect on my kids.

Eat at least 1 meal together daily: Interestingly the speaker focused on this one as the most important of all. He said that discussions with a parent do more to help kids make good decisions than anything else. It is in casual conversations that parents can do much to pass on values and beliefs. But we have to make a space for those discussions to come into being. Our most likely meal together is breakfast, but sometimes dinner happens as well. The key point is to have a time where you and your kids are together with nothing to do but to talk.

Pay tithes and offerings: Making kids part of charitable giving helps them see their role in the larger community. I have been given much, I should pass it on. Not only that, but I should allow my children to see me giving so that they can learn to give as well.