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Field Day 2009

By / May 27, 2009

My kids are real troopers. They have weathered the huge shift of having me change from a focused stay-at-home mom into a frequently scattered work-from-home mom. They have had some emotional reactions, but for the most part they have stayed wonderful kind people who don’t deliberately act out to try to reclaim some of my attention. This has even been true over the last two months when I was so insanely busy that I hardly had time for them at all. They stepped up and took care of themselves and each other. They believed me when I kept telling them it was only temporary and that they could have me back soon. But even the best troopers wear out eventually, and I’ve started seeing all the little signs.

I listen to them and hear the simple acceptance that I am always working. I hear the comment on the way to the park, that “Mom likes to play with us when she doesn’t have to work.” I hear Patch say “I know why you are always late. It’s cause you’re working.” I hear Kiki sigh in relief to her friends “At least the books didn’t arrive before my birthday.” I hear Link asking for extra snuggle time in the evening. I see Gleek’s tears when I was late for her school performance and she was afraid I would not come at all. Even with my fractured attention, the evidence is beginning to accumulate. I am working too much. The kids need more of me than they have been getting. Not only that, but the kids’ teachers need more support from me. I’ve always been one of the reliable, volunteering parents. I’ve been responsible and dependable. I’m not sure any of this year’s teachers would use those words to describe me.

Yesterday I asked my three youngest which field day events they most wanted me to attend. They all answered unanimously that they wanted me to come and be there all day long. They wanted me to hang out and see the events, and take pictures, and give them all my attention. I realized that because I’ve hired help with the shipping preparation I could. I could just leave the house and be there for the kids in the way that they need without neglecting critical business tasks. So I did that today. I got my shipping helper settled, ran a quick errand, and spent the rest of the day with the kids. We still had the problem of one parent trying to watch three kids simultaneously, but I was there.

I need to be there more, in all the little ways that add up so importantly in the math of childhood.

Preparation for the Shipping Days

By / May 26, 2009

The big business task for the next two weeks is preparations for the shipping party. It will be taking place Monday June 8th and continuing into Tuesday June 9th if we don’t finish on the first day. The last two shipping events were complete in a single day, but I always schedule the spare day just in case. One of the tasks for today is writing up a blog post for Howard’s front page with all the details including times and contact information.

Rounding up volunteers is one piece. Another is the collection of shipping supplies. This is mostly done. The supplies will need to be hauled to Dragon”s Keep, but that is a chore for the morning of the event. Most of what remains is organization of invoices, postage, and inventory. The biggest difference this time is that I have hired help with the organization. It makes a huge difference. For example, I’m sitting here blogging about preparing for shipping rather than sitting glued to my computer printing out postage. Someone else is sitting at the computer processing the lists. I feel strangely guilty about that. It feels as if I am ducking a responsibility somehow. Instead of printing postage, I’ve been handling email, cleaning up my neglected house, and counting inventory to make sure we have all the pieces we need. It feels good, almost relaxed. This is very different from the frantic, stressed hurry that I usually feel. Apparently I was trying to do too much. Go figure.

The kids were fine while I was gone

By / May 24, 2009

Kiki was still awake when I got home from CONduit. She was being a good babysitter and watching the house and the sleeping kids. We spent forty minutes in the kitchen with late night snacks while her thoughts about the last two days spilled forth as words. My head was full of thoughts too, but my convention thoughts were unlikely to interest her much, so I listened. The three younger kids had spent the last day over at my backyard neighbor’s house, but Kiki mostly hung out at our house by herself. It was fascinating to listen to her as she processed this preview of what it would be like to live on her own. I can tell that it was a good experience for her. She had to take responsibility for feeding herself and curbing her tendency to watch anime all day. She also detailed her evening babysitting as she welcomed the other kids home and tucked them into bed to wait for my arrival. It all went so smoothly. There were no big upsets. No frantic phone calls from children in need of parental intervention. I was able to completely focus on other things and the kids were well cared for.

Thoughts on a book launch Party

By / May 24, 2009

There were two large problems with the Scrapyard book launch party. I did not line up help ahead of time, and I forgot a crucial box containing my cashier tools. The first was solved for me when Christie Richotte walked up to me as I was running to set up. She said “Can I help?” and then functioned as extra hands for me over the next several hours. Other people volunteered as well. I’m not sure who hung the banner, but I am grateful that they did so that I could set up the merchandise. Afterward we had an abundance of clean-up help. 40 pizza boxes vanished into the garbage, taken by someone who quietly saw that it needed done and did the job. Merchandise was put back into boxes and two people helped me haul the load to my car. I had more helpers than I had work. It was wonderful. The cashier problem was solved by getting some fives from the front desk and grabbing note pads for credit card transactions. I enter those into our online merchant account later. (*Head smack* I just realized that I could have taken my laptop to the party and just run the transactions on the computer as I created the receipts. Oh well. Next time maybe.)

The first hour of the party was crazy. I had no time to do anything except greet customers and process transactions. The flow of people coming to our table was non-stop. Then they went to stand in line so that Howard could sketch in their books. The room got really crowded. Even more so once the pizza arrived. But there is a satisfaction to filling a room to bursting. It was a good thing. The crowd dwindled in the second half, so that the room became comfortably full instead of insanely packed. We should have some good pictures because Stacy Whitman went around taking some. I certainly did not have time nor energy. Neither did Howard.

Howard and I are constantly conscious of how much we owe to our fans and particularly to the local community. They show up to help us and support us. They come to our panels. They laugh at our jokes. They help ship our books. We wish we could thank the more far flung fans effectively, but at least we can throw a really big party and feed everybody. It doesn’t feel like enough thanks to express the gratitude we feel. The point of a book launch party is to say “Hooray we did it!” In this case that “we” includes all the fans everywhere, even if they could not be physically present.

CONduit 2009 After Thoughts

By / May 24, 2009

The moment the hotel room door closed behind me, I knew that the quick run up to my room was something of a mistake. I’d been running around socializing and presenting for a full day. The temptation to hide in the calm, quiet room was nearly overwhelming. This is one of the odd dichotomies of being an introvert. I was loving every minute of the convention. I was loving the presenting, and visiting with long-time friends, and meeting new people. It was all wonderful and I still wanted to hide from it for awhile. I wanted to sit in the quiet of my room and process the experiences. Unfortunately there was no time. The convention only lasts so long, and I had another presentation in only a few more minutes. So I grabbed the things I needed and went forth again. Plenty of time to be alone once the convention is over.

As a writer I am tempted to try to capture my entire convention experience in words, as if by pinning it down I can keep it present forever. I want to scramble and write hugely long entries that mention every event and every person by name. The problem is that there are too many of both. No matter how hard I try, I would not be able to remember everything. It would take several days to try to write it all. And as each day goes by, more details would become fuzzy. Not only that, but I really need to use today to clear my head. By tomorrow morning all the convention thoughts need to be firmly stowed away in my memories so that my thinking space is available for things to come. So I will not attempt to tell everything. I will let it all wash over me and some of it will stick.

This year CONduit was more about reconnection than with reaching out to new people. I did meet some new people, but the majority of my time was spent visiting with friends. Last night, after the launch party was over, Howard and I washed up like driftwood in the chairs of the hotel lobby. We had nothing left on our schedules for the day, but there were hours left in the evening. I contemplated packing up and heading home early, but was too tired. I am glad I didn’t because that circle of chairs accumulated people. Soon all the chairs were filled, so new people started dragging chairs from other portions of the lobby. The laughter and conversation continued to grow until we’d run out of lobby chairs to relocate. Some people tried to bring out chairs from the conference room, but the hotel management came to inform us that this was not allowed. So we moved the party into the conference room and put all the lobby chairs back where they went. Yes we are guests who rearrange the furniture, but we put it back when we’re done. Even in the conference room we had to drag in a couple of extra chairs. We sat in there for hours swapping stories and laughing a lot. The number of people went as high as 21 before people started trickling away to go find their beds. Howard and I were among the last to leave. I wanted to cling to that social time and not lose it with the same fervent emotion that had me wanting to hide in my room earlier in the day.

CONduit is continuing right now. Howard is still there. Many of my friends are still there. I am not because I need a day of respite before next week’s work. I need to go to church with th kids and maintain household stability. I am both sad to not be at CONduit right now and relieved. I want to talk and laugh more. I also want to sit here in my own bedroom sorting my thoughts by writing them down. Before I left for the convention my backyard neighbor told me to have fun. All I could answer was “I hope so.” Because conventions are highly stressful events for me. They are business time and I work hard. I worked particularly hard this time, faced with three panels/presentations where I was in charge, and a book launch party. With so many daunting tasks ahead of me, I could not see the fun I would have. But now the daunting tasks are done. They went well. And the stress fades in my memory while the laughter remains. I had a good time. It was fun, and rewarding, and tiring, and successful, and I could have done better, but I did well enough. It is good.

CONduit 2009 Day Two

By / May 23, 2009

My events are done. The reading did not really happen because my presentation took up the entire hour, which was fine. I started the hour with only two attendees, but had gathered an additional four by the time I was done. So instead of the nervewracking packed room, I had an initially nervewracking small crowd, which turned out to be a nice size for a discussion later. I think the presentation went well, but I have some solid ideas for how to make it better next time. The same is true of the two Howard and Sandra panels.

The launch party was a huge success despite the fact that I left a critical box at home. We did not have our bag of change, our box cutter, or the numbered stamp for sketched editions. Fortunately we managed to scrounge up enough small bills to make change and just made do for the rest. It worked. The pizza arrived on schedule. For an hour or more, I was so busy helping customers, that there was no time for me to supervise the food at all. We are extremely fortunate that the wonderful Christie showed up and said “How can I help?” She stayed by my side and was an extra pair of hands for me through out the busy hours. Things wound down after a bit and I had time to visit with people. That is always the best bit. Getting to know all the amazing people who come to these events. We will have pictures sometime next week because Stacy Whitman showed up and volunteered to be our photographer.

Now I am tired, but it is a calm and happy tired. Everything went well. The presentations went well. The panels went well. I got to say useful things in front of other people. Next I get to throw my luggage into the van and head home. There I will find my kids who may or may not be in bed asleep. I will also find the dishes and laundry that I didn’t do before I left. But that’s fine. I’ve got two huge events completely taken care of. I have another two weeks to organize for the next big event. (The shipping party.) Further events will not happen until later in the summer. Which is good. Tomorrow is my day off.

CONduit 2009 Day One

By / May 23, 2009

I love the kids’ dance festival at the elementary school. I love watching my children so focused on the dance steps that they have been working on for weeks. I even enjoy sitting outside in the sunshine where I usually pick up a sunburn. Then I like to take them home and feed them all ice cream and sit around relaxing for the rest of the day. Festivals should have relaxing in them. But this year the dance festival was scheduled on the same day that CONduit began. Both activities are things I enjoy, but the enjoyments interfere with each other. I did not want to be arrive at CONduit sunburned and reeking of sunscreen. I did not want to dash away from the post festival relaxation, leaving my children with my neighbor for the night. But I did not get to choose the schedule, so I made the best compromise I could.

At CONduit I discovered that I had been elevated in status. My badge reads “Guest of Honor” and all of my events are scheduled in the primary spaces of the hotel. This means that my very first ever reading will not be tucked away in some quiet reading room which can only be found by those who really look for it. Instead my reading is in the main thoroughfare of the convention where many people can wander by and decide to attend. This is very cool, and very nervous-making. I’m used to that kind of attention when Howard and I present together, he’s famous. I’m less accustomed to it for my own things.

CONduit for us is a strange mix between a family reunion and a professional appearance. We know most of the panelists here by sight and by name. We stay up late talking with them for hours, catching up on how their projects are going, and laughing a lot. But this familiarity gives us the sense that our presentations are nothing new to the folks here. They’ve all heard us before, which makes it a little strange that we are wearing Guest of Honor badges and they aren’t. But we solace ourselves in knowing that this our one shot to be guests of CONduit. After this we’ll be back in the ranks of the participants.

The first Howard and Sandra panel went really well. The room was packed. If Howard and I give the presentation again, I want to be more organized. The outline was a good one to work from, but it was a bit sketchy. The segues from topic to topic were sometimes a little bumpy. But I think we covered the most important points and I think that we said some things that were useful to other people, which is the whole point.

Speaking of scattered, this scattershot entry needs to end. I’ve got to run to Sam’s Club and buy food for the launch party this afternoon. Howard is currently on the phone arranging for pizza delivery. He has a reading in 45 minutes and I have one an hour after that. We’d better get moving.

Photographs of Shipping Preparations

By / July 8, 2011

Every time we do a shipping, I grab a camera and snap some pictures. Then when I review the pictures later I realize that they don’t really capture everything that is going on. What we really need is someone who can take photographs rather than snap pictures. Unfortunately we’re all much to busy to do more than grab the camera for a moment. But the pictures do capture some of the experience.


These are the fiddly-bit pin cards that the kids assembled on Monday afternoon. They put together over 800 of these.


The books arrive in a lift-gate truck. You can see a pallet descending on the lift gate to the left side of this picture. You can also see that our garage is completely full of pallets of books. The pallets that are outside in this image were later moved down the road to our storage unit. They contain the inventory that will fill orders over the next year.


Here is our garage full of books from another angle. You can see that we’ve opened a couple of boxes to check the contents.


I did not get any pictures of us stamping books for sketch editions. I didn’t think of grabbing the camera until we were done with that. However I did get several pictures of signing for box set assembly. You can see the piles of empty boxes accumulating. Hidden behind the counter is a large pile of crumpled packing paper.


This is the best shot I’ve got which gives an idea of the work space. Boxes are brought in from the garage (out of the frame to the left) and unloaded onto the counter. They are then stacked for Howard to sign. The signed books are then moved to the table. On the table they are either stamped for sketching, or as shown in this photo, inserted into boxed sets. The empty boxes are thrown into all the corners of the room to be cleaned up later. Some of them are used for re-boxing books to transport them to Dragon’s Keep.


Here is the growing stack of box sets. We assembled 110 sets today. We need to do about 190 more. After this picture was taken, we set up for shrink wrapping the box sets. I don’t have any pictures of that. I was too busy.

We worked hard all morning. 950 books were signed and stamped for sketching. 550 books were signed and assembled into box sets. We’ll have to do more box set assembly and signing, but that won’t happen until Monday. Tomorrow needs to be spent on normal business stuff and convention preparation. It was satisfying to process 1500 books so quickly. Of course it is a little strange to realize that all that work did not reduce the quantity of stuff in my garage. We just rearranged it. Still, it is a good start.

The tired begins

By / May 19, 2009

I have been rude to people today. I did not intend to be rude. I am just tired and distracted and unable to track more than a single thing at a time. To someone who does not know the whole story of why I am tired, I just seem rude. Unfortunately I am aware of my inability to function politely, but I’m too tired to fix it. So I try to find a quiet space to recuperate, which works until the unexpected visitor stops by or until four children start stacking requests on me in quick succession. I’m afraid the kids bear the brunt of my fatigue. They get snapped at or scolded. I apologize, but that is not the same as having me better able to manage. I know I am not in a good mental place when I start needing things from my kids instead of giving to them or carefully structuring expectations. It gets especially difficult when what I need is in direct contradiction to what they need. This evening they needed their mom. They needed me to fix snacks and listen to their rambles. They needed to be heard so they could unwind for bed. I needed silence and space. They needed talking and cuddles.

We’ll all be fine. One evening of cranky mothering will not do serious damage. I know this, but I can’t seem to shut up that guilty voice in my head; the one that points out how frequently I have been cranky in the past two months. The one that counts up the hours the kids have been spending on electronic entertainments when I was too busy to make them vary their activities. The one that counts up the missed piano lessons, and gymnastics classes, and scout activities. The one that sees we still have two weeks go go before the books are shipped. The one who sees how tired Howard is, and yet he is the one doing the dishes. This voice whispers of laundry and weeds and microwaved meals. All that guilt pounds in my head and makes it even harder for me to hear the needs of the kids as they speak to me.

Goodness I am tired. Howard is tired. In theory today should be a day of celebration. We have all the books. They are here. But all Howard and I can see is the work yet to do. He is weighed down by it. I am weighed down by it. Both of us are too tired to do more than try not to add our stress to the other person. I want him to smile and be happy and confident so I can ride on the wave of his energy. Unfortunately he could use the same wave from me. I haven’t got it. Not today. Tomorrow we will be fine. We will just have work to do and we will get going on it. Then we will keep going until it is done. But we are not looking forward to the emotional and physical haul of the next few weeks.

Books arrive and the work continues

By / May 19, 2009

The books have arrived. My garage is now filled with six pallets of books and slipcases. Four more pallets are sitting in the driveway ready to be hauled over to the storage unit. We’ll trade them for additional boxes of Tub of Happiness and Teraport Wars that we’ll need to stuff some of the slipcases.

I did some math. We’ll be shipping out
379 Tub of Happiness
573 Teraport Wars
369 Under New Management
345 Blackness Between
1333 Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance.

The total books to be shipped is currently 2999. There will also be assorted other merchandise in the packages. Last time we shipped out 1500 books in one day. This time we may need that second shipping day. Also I think the postman is going to have to make more trips. There will be over 1500 packages and most of the packages will be larger.

The signing and stamping of books begins tomorrow.
Thursday will be assembly of box sets and convention preparation
Friday I attend the kids’ dance festival then head to Conduit
Saturday is Conduit and the book release party
Sunday rest and church
Monday will be scheduled depending upon how all of the above goes. Hopefully I’ll be ready to start printing postage, but I may still be assembling and shrinkwrapping box sets. Also there will be many last-week-of-school activities for me to attend.

Ready. Set. Go!