Today I identified part of the reason that Link has been fighting so hard against growing up. Every day that takes him into the future is one day closer to the time when his current teacher will not be his teacher anymore. Link does not want to leave fifth grade because he will leave behind something that is precious to him. We’ve talked about it, but I don’t have much comfort to offer. Link and I both know that visiting this teacher is not the same as being in the classroom with him every day. But identifying a source for the grief has actually done a lot to help calm Link down. He is very prone to displacement and often the displaced emotion goes into places where that emotion almost seems logical. It almost makes sense that Link be sad about Bestfriend moving away. To be in tears over it 3 years after the fact seems a little excessive, until you realize that Link is really sad about a parting that is looming in front of him. Then the returned grief at a previous parting begins to make sense.
I need to make more time for Link. He needs more snuggly, quiet spaces where he and I can talk through the thoughts in his head. I need to point out this realization to him so that he can see it too. Perhaps making this connection now will help him in the future to make his own connections.