Pretty Things in Washington D.C.

/

One of the things I hoped for in attending the Nebula weekend was to see beauty. There was lots of it, which is to be expected in a city as consciously created as Washington D.C. There was also much consciously created beauty on the night of the Nebula awards. The dressy clothing was a feast to the eye and part of me wishes I’d spent my evening playing photographer. Another part is quite glad I spent my time talking instead.

Nancy and I both dressed up for the evening.

I’ve discovered that I love dresses where the motion of them is part of the beauty. This means that static shots such as this one do not show the dress to best advantage. That top flowed as I moved. It also had the advantage of being incredibly comfortable, always a plus on a high-tension night.

Nancy also posed with other lovely people, such as Mary Robinette Kowal and Sheila Williams.

After that photo, my camera was put away for the evening. However my day touring in D.C. was filled with photography. When I say that D.C. is a consciously created city, I am not kidding. There is attention in every detail. I need to write up a separate post about the monuments, but I was out walking and I would see things like this entrance walkway to the Federal Triangle metro station.
I could just picture carriages being pulled along those cobblestones. I love that the lanterns were freshly painted with black and gold.

Another of the places I went was the botanical gardens, again there needs to be a whole post about why that stop was important to me, in the meantime here are a couple of small pretty things I saw while there.


The bumblebee was quite obliging. He went about his business and let me get my camera mere inches from his head.

I also went the the National Museum of Art, which is completely full of pretty things. I’m afraid I frustrated our docent, though. She rattled of information about paintings to explain their significance and why they were impressive. I kept pausing to take pictures of floors, frames, and random architectural details. In part it was a rebel streak which was irritated by being instructed what to find impressive, in other part, the details were fascinating.
This table was not a work of art on display. It was just a table that had been placed into the room to provide furniture.

Many of the frames fascinated me. They were works of art in themselves, particularly the ones which were obviously custom made for the piece in question.

I wonder what went through the mind of the artisan who made this frame. Was it a sacred commission or just a job?

Even in the most famous paintings, my eyes were drawn to little details.

Everywhere I looked all weekend long there were small beautiful details, earrings, lamps, smiles, curls, flowers, the scent of honeysuckle in the air. Then I came home to my pretty things here and that was good too.

Pretty Things in Washington D.C. Read More »

A Long Day

/ / 3 Comments

“Are you okay mom?” Gleek asked, and I realized that I had just made a large sigh while surveying the contents of our pantry. The lack of enticing food had been some sort of sigh trigger.
“I’m all right.” I answered, “Just tired. It has been a long day.”
“Aren’t all days the same length?” asked Patch. “They all have the same hours.”
I turned to look at him, his blue eyes wide. “Yes, but some days seem long. Today felt really long to me.”
Gleek and Patch continued to munch on their cereal, which was my simple-as-possible bedtime snack effort for the evening. It was all I could muster after having to scold Gleek for ignoring me and turning the scolding into a lecture on how she should respond when I say “stop” in a commanding voice. Perhaps the scolding and lecture will make tomorrow’s conflicts a fraction easier, no guarantees. Before snack and the scolding had been the mediation over whether Gleek could play her music in the kitchen even though Kiki had been there first. That had been preceded by a cub scout pack meeting full of running and shouting children. Then ever-so-long-ago at the beginning of the day had been the ninety minute long meeting with Link, two of Link’s teachers, an administrator, and the school psychologist in which we hammered out his Individual Education Plan (IEP) for next year. Nothing said in the meeting was news. I’d already seen all the results, knew what we were going to say. But it all needed to be said out loud so that everyone could hear all the words. Most of all so that Link could hear. Half the information was new to him. He needed to assimilate it. It also needed to be written down on paper so that next fall when we’re all attempting to settle into a new year we can just read our instructions to ourselves.

I asked Link later, how he felt about me blogging about his diagnoses. (Yes, plural).
“That would be good.” he said. “It could help people.”
I agree. I began planning out a big, beautiful post which would clarify everything and put it all into an emotional context. I stopped writing notes halfway through, because I’d run out of emotional energy. It is just possible that 14 years of worry is a bit much to try to pull into a single blog post. Maybe I’ll write that post later, or a different one.

The short version is this: Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The ADHD we’ve been treating for years. The APD…I’ve also known for years. I just forgot that I knew it because treating the ADHD made such a huge difference. I guessed APD back when Link was in Kindergarten because it was the only thing I could find which explained the patterns of development I was seeing. I keep thinking that perhaps I should feel guilty that it took us this long to diagnose the APD. I ought to feel guilty, but I don’t, and I feel vague guilt about not feeling guilty. The truth is that we’ve all been doing the best that we can. Link just needed this comprehension now so we tested and found it. Link’s ears work fine, but his brain scrambles words, so that Link has to work hard to comprehend what is said. Combine that with the working memory and processing speed challenges which are common with ADHD, and you begin to understand that Link has to be brilliant in other areas or else we would have found this long ago. He’s like a deaf person no one knows is deaf because he reads lips so well. Link has distinct areas of brilliance. I’ve got test data showing that too.

So none of it is new, but all of it is now official in the school paperwork. Making it official is exhausting, as if writing it down makes it more real. This I think is why many parents shy away from diagnosing their kids. I think it is why I did. As long as it is only a suspicion it could be wrong, everything could be fine. Knowing the auditory processing diagnosis shifted things in my head. It shook up my thoughts and they settled in ways that will be much more beneficial to Link. Now when I slow down and simplify my sentences for Link I know that it is because he physically needs that, not because he can’t comprehend complex concepts. I knew that before too, but this knowledge has also become more real and that is a good thing.

Or so I tell myself. I’m finding it oddly difficult to click “publish” on this post, as if that too is a line to cross, making things more real.

It has been a long day, and it is time for bed now.

A Long Day Read More »

Nebula Weekend and Going Home

/

I am at the airport. My Nebula weekend is over and I’m waiting for my flight home. Once I get there I’ll have to unpack my suitcases full of clothes and my brain full of thoughts. At this very moment my brain is trying to do post-convention imposter syndrome where I rethink half of my conversations and decide that people were just being nice to me because they are nice people rather than because I was actually interesting. Fortunately I am too tired for these thoughts to gain much traction. They just start to get rolling and then slip away as I stare out of the airport windows and various memories parade across my consciousness. Keeping a train of thought for a coherent blog post faces similar challenges, so I give you scenes instead.

The keynote speech at the Nebula banquet was given by Mike Fincke who is an astronaut. He’s spent a year in space. He showed us some video which amounted to the astronaut version of home video. However my favorite moment was when Mike stood at the podium and said “We at NASA actually believe every single thing you write. Then we try to make it happen in the real world.” Mike’s tone of voice and demeanor clearly showed that he was in awe of those who write the fiction which inspired him to become an astronaut. At the end of his speech all the writers in the room gave him a standing ovation. To us he was a rock star. To him, the writers were. It showed me the power of ideas and that writing matters.

Neil Gaiman showed up for the event. Once again I did not meet him. He was always surrounded. Perhaps I should keep count of the number of events that we mutually attend where I do not meet him. The truth is that I don’t actually have anything I need to say to him. I just suspect he is a fascinating person to converse with. Rather than futilely attempting to have that conversation, I spoke with people around me and found dozens of fascinating new people and conversations instead. This is one thing that new writers often get wrong. The person on the stage is not the most fascinating person in the room. In fact you’re more likely to find good conversation and career help by talking to whomever you end up standing near. I did not expect to forward any business purposes during this trip. I’m coming home with leads on half a dozen things simply as a result of talking to people. Some of these leads are career related, but I’ve got at least three parenting ideas to apply, new knowledge about care of the elderly which may be helpful for my grandma, and some recommendations about foods. My life is going to be improved and changed in lots of small ways because of conversations at the Nebula weekend.

At one point during the Nebula evening I stood back from talking with people and surveyed the room. Like at the Whitney Award ceremony this represented a chance for me to assess how award ceremonies as events impact me emotionally even if nothing is at stake for me. The impact is significant. There are lots of emotions flowing around the room and I pick up edges of them whether I want to or not. Once we exited the hall, this effect was much reduced. By this morning people had either accomplished what they’d come for, or they’d given up on it. The vibe was much more mellow and relaxed. I spent a leisurely morning wandering around and talking with people.

Next I go home and as good as Nebula weekend has been, that will be even better.

Nebula Weekend and Going Home Read More »

Nebula Weekend Day Two: The National Mall

/

I have many thoughts about the things I saw during this day, so this post will only serve as a quick overview of the day as a whole. (Also I forgot to bring my camera cable, so I can only use the pictures I took on my phone and emailed to myself.)

I began my day at the National Museum of Art. Entrance is free, but they will peek into every bag you carry with you. All the things in the National Mall are free, it is a reminder that all these things belong to all American Citizens equally. Most museums discourage photography, the National museums encourage it. Of course you can take pictures, these things belong to everyone. So I snapped away.

I love how grouchy these lions are in Reubens’ Daniel in the Lion’s Den. Sure they didn’t eat Daniel, but they are not happy about it. Apparently Reubens had a thing for lions. He’d spend hours in the zoo drawing them.

I love this gentleman’s messy office. I also love that Willard thought it worth painting.

Then, of course, I have the obligatory up-close and stand-back shots of impressionist art. It is like magic the way that image appears from mess.

I also have the obligatory photographs of D.C. monuments.

I spent most of the day wandering the Mall solo. I ate ice cream, got sunburned, and then navigated the Metro system without getting lost. I feel quite accomplished. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to spool out my more complex thoughts and upload my more carefully composed photos to explain why this trip means so much to me.

Nebula Weekend Day Two: The National Mall Read More »

Nebula Weekend Thursday

/ / 2 Comments

I expected to make a mad dash through the Detroit airport. I only had an hour lay over. Instead I discovered that I’d landed at gate A74 and my departing flight was at A75. I mozied over and sat down. This left me plenty of time to observe how very different the crowd on the DC flight was from many of my previous flights. There were lots of suits, expensive ones. I tried to play “spot the Geek” to see if anyone on my flight was also headed to the Nebulas. I didn’t see anyone. I keep hoping for a repeat of the fortunate circumstance that landed Howard and I in a seat next to Paulo Bacigalupi during our flight to Montreal. We had a marvelous conversation the whole way to WorldCon. Failing to spot any geek tribe members I spent time watching at least thirty people who were carrying red passports declaring “People’s Republic of China.” I decided they were tourists. I ended up sitting next to a nice gentleman from this group. We didn’t talk, his English was limited. I didn’t really talk to anyone during my flight travel. I spent the time deep inside my own head. Plenty of thoughts to sort there. I also spend some flight time with Calcifer. He is my new laptop, named after the fire which powers Howl’s magical moving and transforming castle. Hopefully this laptop will be the heart of a castle in the sky for me too. So Calcifer and I produced some words.

Virgina has a law where hotels are not allowed to kick out guests once they have checked in. This matters because a large tour group decided to stay for an extra day and half of the Nebula attendees were relocated to another hotel. Nancy and I were among those who’ve been relocated. The Hyatt was quite apologetic and comped the night’s stay along with providing free cab vouchers and free internet. They also ran shuttles after events ended this evening. So instead of being in a Hyatt we’re in the Gaylord. As near as I can tell the Gaylord is a hotel designed to allow rich people to impress each other. The last time I was in a space so consciously lavish was the Casinos in Reno. But Casino hotels feel like a tarnished lavish and this one feels like it means the lavishness. Interestingly, I don’t feel intimidated by it. It is a hotel. I have a bed to sleep in. All is well.

Nancy and I came back to the room early. She is still recovering from jet lag, having come from Germany two days ago. I, on the other hand, am on Utah time. Thus I am blogging while Nancy sleeps and while I wait for my biorythmic clock to decide that sleep is possible.

Word from home is that all is going well, which makes me glad. Tomorrow I go touring.

Nebula Weekend Thursday Read More »

Recognizable Emotional Valleys

/ / 6 Comments

There is inevitably a point during pre-orders when Howard and I do the math to compare orders received vs. expected expenses then discover that it isn’t enough. We know that the pre-orders are barely begun, that we still have time, but it is still frightening. It reminds us that everything we have is a gift and that perhaps we should be working harder to earn it. So we make plans to work harder and to spend less.

Any time I go on a trip I spend some time convinced that the whole thing is a bad idea. Usually this hits a day or two before departure when I still have a big list of things I intended to do before leaving, but when I can see that I simply don’t have the time or energy to accomplish all of them.

Toward the end of the school year I experience an emotional lull when I can’t pull together the emotional energy to maintain the structure to support school work. We end up having lots of last-minute scrambles to get things done. My brain also coasts back over the entire year and informs me exactly how I could have done all of it better.

When I release my work in a form where people can pay money for it, and then very few do, it can be hard to remember that the blockbuster model is not the only road to success.

I finally find the right conjunction of time and emotional energy to send out a pile of queries on Stepping Stones. Immediately after, my brain begins to do damage control on the expected rejections. I become convinced that all the effort is pointless because the book will never sell anyway, and if it did sell the money offered would be so small that it would make no dent in our finances at all.

All of these emotional valleys are familiar to me. I’ve been in them before. I will be again. The good news is that the familiarity helps me to know that I’m not stuck in them. I’ll climb out. The bad news is when all of them strike simultaneously at 11 pm on the same evening. I feel quite accomplished that I was able to spectate the experience and identify all the threads instead of turning into a whimpering huddle under the covers.

Now it is morning and I’ve got my hiking shoes on, because the best way for me to get out of these valleys is to start walking.

Recognizable Emotional Valleys Read More »

Book Announcements and News

/

It is a newsy sort of day.

First and most important. Pre-orders are open for Sharp End of the Stick. They opened yesterday morning which meant that yesterday was not a good day for clear thinking. You’d think we’d be more relaxed about this after 8 books, but we aren’t. Too much depends upon pre-orders. I always have a pocket of fear that this will be the time that the whole system falls apart. Then we’ll have massive bills and no big pile of money with which to pay them. One of the scariest things about running our own business is accumulating bills that run to four and five figures. Book printing and shipping costs do add up. Lots. So on pre-order day I do one of two things, I either hover over the internet checking figures and obsessively doing math to see if we’ve made enough money to breathe easy for the next six months. OR I run away from the internet and try to pretend that it is not pre-order day. (I call this the “la la la, I can’t hear you” approach. Very mature, I know.) Yesterday manifested as a run away from the internet day. Today I settled in and began to process orders and do math. So far so good. I must say it warmed my heart to see that at least a couple of people ordered copies of Cobble Stones.


Which leads me to the next newsy thing: Cobble Stones is available as an e-book on Amazon. It will soon be available in the Barnes & Noble online store as well. (Any time now. *drums fingers*). And of course you can buy a physical copy in our store. If you have already pre-ordered Sharp End of the Stick and would like to add Cobble Stones to your order, just place a separate order for Cobble Stones and then email schlockmercenary at gmail.com with both order numbers. I’ll happily combine the orders and refund the extra shipping costs. This is the sampler book for which I’ll someday actually create a marketing plan, which will probably include sending copies to book bloggers and encouraging people to do interviews. The trouble is that I launched this book right in the middle of also launching the SEOS pre-order and that simply has to get more attention right now. But one thing I learned from Hold on to Your Horses is that my creative works do not need to be blockbusters right out of the gate. Hold Horses took three years to pay back its expenses, but it continues to sell at a steady trickle. More importantly it continues to be useful and make people happy.

While I’m finally putting my writing into formats where people can actually buy it, my sister has put together two anthologies containing my stories. The Awards Weekend Anthology includes my short story Immigrant, previously published in the DAW anthology Ages of Wonder. The Mind of the Beholder features one of my earlier stories Bethan’s Garden. For the longest time this story only existed on my website, but Nancy felt like it was a perfect addition to a book which addresses science fictional characters who are neuro-divergent in autistic ways. The book also features Nancy’s Nebula and Hugo nominated story Movement, which is worth the cover price all by itself.

Book Announcements and News Read More »

On the Selection of Bedtime Reading for Children

/ / 4 Comments

Note to teachers:

If you assign a book that is historical fiction about the industrial revolution in which all of the protagonist’s friends die dramatically during a factory fire, please let me know the contents of the book so that I can make sure my daughter does not read it at bedtime. My daughter has an extremely vivid imagination and a strong propensity to identify with book characters. She has cried her eyes red and spent an outraged hour telling me all the gruesome details about the deaths and the dishonesty of the industrial revolution factory owner. I suppose this is the point of the book. We must learn history in order to not repeat it. However I can not in good conscience turn off the light and leave my child alone with these dark and terrible thoughts. An application of the Wordgirl audio book may be insufficient antidote to allow sleep to arrive at a reasonable hour.

Thanks,
Me.

On the Selection of Bedtime Reading for Children Read More »

Irises as Spanish Dancers

/ / 1 Comment

My Spanish dancers are blooming. Okay, they’re Irises, but every time I see them I think of the swirling skirts of Spanish dancers.

Even holding still the petals seem full of motion.

I also love the way that the petals sparkle when you get up close to them in the sunlight.

This year’s crop is thick. I’m going to have to transplant some in the fall so that they have space to grow tall and glorious again next year.

All too soon these beautiful blooms will be gone, but for now I can sit close and enjoy the fragrance.

Irises as Spanish Dancers Read More »

Favorite Colors

/

I’ve been thinking about colors lately. Part of this is driven by the fact that I still have kids in elementary school. In the lower grades knowing your favorite color is of paramount importance. Every “about me” survey will ask about favorite colors. Kids will ask each other as well. Knowing a person’s favorite color tells you something about them. When I was in elementary school I struggled with this question, because I didn’t have one. I liked all the colors. Any time I faced one of those surveys I would write “rainbow” or “all of them.” It came as a great surprise to me to reach adulthood and discover in myself a marked preference for the color green. I don’t know when it started, I don’t know why, but green became my favorite color during the years when my kids were babies and toddlers. That was also the period of time when spring solidified its place as my favorite season. Perhaps the two things were linked. Green is a lovely and soothing color. It blends well with lots of things. Once I discovered my preference for it, I was comfortable. I expected to prefer it for the rest of my life, just part of growing up.

Of course we never stop growing up. Adulthood is not a stopping place, it is a long passageway. There are emotional stages and growth to be gone through as long as we are alive. Of late I’ve discovered that I am drawn to the color orange. I’m also drawn to brilliant persimmon, teal green, sea blue, and deep lavender. Any color that is soft but vibrant. (Not florescent colors. Those hurt my eyes.) I want to surround myself with bright colors. I want to wear them. At first I was concerned by this trend. Perhaps seeking bright colors meant that I was seeking attention, that I wanted people to notice me. But I don’t think it is about forcing people to notice. I think it is more to tell myself to be brave, to stop hiding. I spent several years where most of my thoughts and actions were dictated by suppressed fear and anxiety. Many of my thoughts and actions still are, but I’m starting to untangle it. I’m starting to learn how to dismiss fear. I can be a person who loves and wears bright colors even though it means they may sometimes clash with things around me.

Favorite Colors Read More »