Kid logic

Children have very different perspectives from adults. The other day I heard giggles and shouts of “boo!” from kids in the kitchen. As I usually do with auditorily unidentifiable behavior, I went to check on them. Link and Gleek were taking turns scaring the fly that had come into the house. I went for the fly swatter since lunch was obviously not going to get eaten until the intruder had been eradicated. The kids met the sight of the swatter with loud protests. “Mom! Let’s keep him! He’s funny!” Pet flies. To avoid major upsets, the fly got a stay of execution on the condition that the kids Sit And Eat. They did. But when they ran off to do something else . . . no more fly.

It amazes me sometimes the mental and physical contortions I go through to appease the four small dictators in my house. Last Monday I had to walk back inside Gleek’s gym class to retrieve the imaginary dog that we’d forgotten. Her teachers were highly amused. Gleek was amused too. As soon as I got back into the car she informed me that I hadn’t brought “the other one” I tried to convince her that I had “See honey, it’s right there in your lap.” With a who-do-you-think-you’re-kidding look, Gleek said “No it isn’t. Go get it!” I was willing to retrieve the first dog because she was honestly upset and in tears that we’d left it, but the second dog seemed to be an exercise in making-mommy-do-stuff. I said “Oh look it’s coming to us. It’s jumping through the open car window! Here he is. He jumps into your lap! Isn’t he a funny dog?” Apparently this was satisfactory because she immediately manufactured a third dog whom she wanted to have me jump through the window. I informed her that we were only allowed to have two dogs and it was time to go. After a pause for thought, she deemed that I’d done sufficient appeasement and we drove home without further incident.

The sad thing is that I do stuff like that all the time. Or maybe it is a glad thing. Because the worlds my children live in are such different places from the one I inhabit. I think in their worlds the colors are brighter. There is a soundtrack for Gleek’s, I’ve heard bits of it. I know that Link’s world is full of special effects. Kiki’s has fairies and unicorns and a sea dragon named Sarah. I remember living in a place like those once. I remember being able to pretend so well that I could actually see what I was pretending. It’s been a long time, and I’ve forgotten how to get there on my own. But my children guide me to places I’ve forgotton how to go by myself.

Frog sitting

I’ve discovered a new parenting tactic. Like many of my favorite tactics it happened on the spur of the moment. I came home from the trip to my brother’s house with a sense that I need to be doing a better job of making my kids accountable for their own choices. I also need to be doing a better job of requiring them to help make our home a nice place to be.

So Sunday night after our three hour car trip, the kids were showing me brownian motion in action and I needed a way to quell them enough for them to pay attention to me. If you can control the hands and feet of kids it is very difficult for them to move the rest, so I said in a loud voice. “Sit down and put your hands on your feet.” The novelty of this command was such that they did it instantly. Quiet. Motionless. It was amazing. I then informed them that this position was called the frog sit. (I’ve no idea where I pulled the name from) And if they didn’t follow my next instructions or got distracted, they would have to frog sit for 3 minutes to think about not getting distracted. I then ordered them into their pajamas. They ran upstairs and did it.

It works really really well on Kiki and Link. Kiki has yet to have to frog sit. Link has had two sessions because of distractions. It doesn’t work so well on Gleek. I have to stand right over her to keep her frog sitting which is time consuming. The true art of parenting is applying consequences to your kids which don’t punish you even worse than the kids. Patches is too young for frog sitting to even begin to work.

I figure the consequences of frog sitting only apply during the brief periods of the day when I’m giving multiple instructions to multiple kids and I need them to keep themselves on task. Times like bedtime or chore time. Hopefully it’ll keep on working. If it doesn’t I’ll have to get creative AGAIN.

Intentions

I intended to go to bed early tonight. But I came down into the office for “just a minute” to see if Howard had emailed or journalled. No luck there, I decided to poke my nose into irc for “just a minute” Once in irc I was slurped into interesting conversations and fun exchanges that kept me entertained and kept me from noticing the clock.

I suppose it was a fitting end for a day that was full of semi-fulfilled intentions. I kept getting derailed by kids or interesting books or just plain fatigue. It was a busy weekend.

And now to bed with me. All the unfinished stuff will still be there in the morning.

There and back again

Picture one minivan, one parent, four kids 9 and under, and a three hour drive. It was nowhere near as bad as you are picturing. I’m very fortunate in that my kids tend to be introverted and capable of entertaining themselves quietly for extended periods of time in a very small space. Of course 3 hours is a real stretch for the 3 year old and the 1 year old, but fortunately they nap.

So Friday had a 3 hour drive followed by several hours of 9 kids tearing through a 4 bedroom house. The kids and their cousins were glad to see eachother. Fortunately the house also has a fenced backyard. The back yard contains a very large garden patch which had just been rototilled. (ominous music would be appropriate here.) When 3 year old Gleek was finally herded into the house after the sun went down she announced “I LIKE that sandbox!” Baths for everyone were in order.

The next day had 3 adults loading 9 kids into two vans to go and sight see. We stood outside and saw a geyser go off whilst being drizzled upon by rainclouds. We had our picnic indoors on the carpet of a visitor center because no one wanted to get even colder and wetter while trying to eat. By the time we were done eating the rain had stopped so we reloaded cars with dripping wet kids (Puddles!) and headed for a local soda spring and park. The spring was kind of cool to see, but the kids really loved the playground. It had full size teeter totters of the kind that have been banned from parks everywhere as being totally unsafe. The kids loved them and with three grown-ups to help no one got hurt. It began to rain again so with totally escapable logic we decided to head for the last site on the itinerary a cave.

The cave rated as the coolest thing on all the kids’ lists. We got to walk 200 yards in the cold and rain, then crawl down slippery rocks into a cave where the floor was coated with a foot thick layer of dried dusty dirt. Wet clothes. Lots of dirt. 7 kids (Babies waited in the car). Oh the laundry. The cave was cool though. Especially for the fact that my brother had run ahead and hidden a treasure chest for the kids to find. We took home tired, but happy and extremely dirty children. An adventure day well worth doing.

Sunday was full of taking things slow and prepping for church, attending church, and then finding sufficient motivation to repack my car full of kids and stuff to drive back home for three more hours. All the kids slept during the homeward trip. yay! And when I got here I was treated to the experience of walking into the house and having it smell like home. Don’t know why that matters so much, but it does.

Feedback

One of the advantages of being married to your best friend is built in mood alleviation. When Howard comes home all stressed I try to do all I can to tell fun stories and be cheerful. When Howard comes home to find me all stressed he does the same thing. If we’re both cheerful that’s even better.

The problem comes when we’re both feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Then we create a negative feedback loop. I’m stressed and Howard’s stress worsens mine which worsens his . . . Those are not good evenings. Unfortunately it is the children who suffer with two grumpy parents and no one left to play good guy.

Not a good way to spend the evening before we’re apart for 9 days. Have I mentioned that I hate business travel? And I don’t even have to spend time on a plane.

Worn out

I’m very tired right now. Last night did not contain enough actual sleep to allow today to be anything but a survival mode day. Unfortunately it was a heavily pre-scheduled survival mode day.

Tomorrow is slightly less scheduled, but the to-do list is no smaller. I’ve got a Kindergarten program and several non-delayable errands. Not to mention the regular stuff that always needs done.

Hopefully tonight will have more uninterrupted sleep, but I’m not betting on it. Patches is trying to cut chewing teeth to go with his chomping teeth. Molars are always painful and he’s decided to get them all at once.

My best hope is to get to bed early. Night all.

Clicky

I’ve run out of things to click on! I’ve already browsed through my comics and forums and live journals. Twice. I even closed my browser entirely and re-opened it in some subconscious belief that when it re-opened there would be something new. This is like munchy snack seeking behavior. Open Fridge. Nothing good there. Open cupboard. Nothing there either. Re-open fridge as if something will have materialized in the last 30 seconds.

I figure that by writing this entry at least I’ll get to click the “update journal” button and have something new happen. 😉

Clicky clicky.

Schlock and our family

Since Howard aired his buffer stresses in his journal this morning and many fans kindly wrote responses in favor of family over schlock, I thought it would be pertinent or at least interesting to share my thoughts on this whole Schlock business.

When Howard first started doodling Schlock I was really glad to see him picking up a new artistic pursuit. I’ve been with Howard when all his creative impulses were dammed up with no outlet and those were some of the darkest times in our marriage. Schlock has been a daily part of our family life for going on five years. Only one of our kids can even remember a time when Daddy didn’t draw Schlock. It may seem strange, but giving up Schlock would be as heart wrenching as giving up one of the kids. And I mean that for both Howard and I. Schlock has sent tendrils throughout our family structure and has become part of it.

We have this lofty dream of having Schlock bring in enough money for Howard to just be a Daddy and a Cartoonist without having to be anything else. We’re a long way from there. Mostly what we have to do is keep on trudging only worrying about the next step because the long view seems impossible to attain. But in theory if we just keep on taking steps and making sure we’re pointed the right direction then we’ll gain our goal eventually.

I honestly don’t know how Howard manages to do all the things that he does and do them so amazingly well. He is one of those people who can pick up almost anything and, given enough time, become superior at doing it. I frequently wish there were more I could do to lighten the burdens he carries.

What makes all the stress worth it here and now is the amazing community that has formed around the existence of Schlock. Several communities actually: The two forums, Nightstar IRC, and now LiveJournal. Through these communities Howard and I have met some wonderful people. All the schlock fans are the voices whose encouragement makes the next step possible even when we are exhausted. It’s been an amazing experience and it ain’t over yet.

Day all gone.

I sit here at my computer intending to write something. It needn’t be profound or witty. I’d settle for coherent. Coherence would be a nice end to this scattered day. Where did it go? And why didn’t more of the things on my to-do list leave with it? Busy busy all day long and not a thing got done. I did start a few things, but I did not finish them.

Some of the unfinished things don’t really make me feel bad. Like laundry. I am of the firm opinion that it is impossible to really ‘finish’ laundry. No matter how quickly I run loads through and fold and put away, the people in this house keep wearing clothes and getting them dirty. I suppose I could strip everyone naked and make them stay that way until the last load is washed, dried and put away. Not likely to happen,so unfinished laundry is just part of my state of existence. Part of the mild chaos that so frequently fills my house.

Dishes are like laundry. Nuff said.

And now it is time for me to head to bed before the knowledge of things Not Done that are drifting through my head consolidate into self pity and leak into my journal entry. I wouldn’t want to stain anyone else’s day. Especially since all I really need is some sleep. Tomorrow morning I’ll wake up and tackle that list again. Or maybe I’ll scrap it and make a better one. As my mom wisely told me “It’ll look better in the morning.”

Kind words and gratitude

Wow. Anytime I’m feeling low or down on myself all I’m going to have to do is browse back throught the commentary on Flower Gardening and Throwing Rocks. I can’t remember when I’ve been more touched or heartened by the kind words of others. In your face Ugh!

For those who kindly sugguested it, yes I’ve disabled anonymous posting. Now if people want to be mean to me they have to leave their name and address. An from the number of folks volunteering to stomp Ugh I’m guessing that anyone who does so will suddenly have a mob on his doorstep. It’s probably neanderthal of me, but that makes me feel really glad. I’ll keep this closet over here full of pitchforks and torches just in case. 😉

A couple of you mentioned slightly guiltily that you kind of skimmed Flower Gardening cause you weren’t interested and thus missed your chance to tromple Ugh. Don’t feel guilty. I’m not at all hurt if someone is bored by my ramblings and chooses not to read. Politely going to do something else is very good ettiquette for LJ and for online forums. I do it all the time. There are whole threads in the Schlock forums that I don’t even open anymore because the science goes way over my head or the topic just isn’t interesting. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Well, Patches just wandered down into the office chanting “num-num” while chomping on a birthday candle. I suspect this means I need to get back upstairs and see how he managed to get his hands on a candle in the first place. I’m guessing Gleek is the culprit which means I need to go find out what ELSE she might have been feeding her baby brother.

Thanks again everyone.