Bedtime blues
Bedtime is one of my most stressful times of day. I always start with a plan, but the plan always has to shift and change in response to kid’s actions and needs. Ideally each child has 15-20 minutes of one-on-one attention from me for stories and talking and snuggling. I want it to be a loving, joyful, happy time. I want my last words to each child each night to be “Goodnight honey. I love you!” Instead it is almost always “Go back to bed and Stay There!” I tried tonight. I really did. I was patient. I coaxed. I snuggled. and nothing I did would induce the kids to follow the script. Patches loved his turn, but didn’t want it to be over. All he wanted was for me to stay with him, but in order to get everyone else in bed I had to leave. Gleek didn’t get a turn tonight. By the time Patches let me go she was already asleep. Link’s turn was shared with/interrupted by Patches. Kiki didn’t really get a turn either, but she didn’t care since she has Harry Potter to read.
All of the above is normal. I don’t know why it has me so down tonight. Perhaps it is because I can see so clearly what my kids need and there isn’t enough of me to provide it all.
One really good thing. Kiki has been so much nicer and easier to deal with since her return from her cousin’s house. She had a chance to live in someone else’s family and learn to appreciate her own a little more. I’m sure the effect will wear off in time, but maybe I’ll never again hear “I wish I belonged to a different family!”