This morning was filled with the last-minute bustle of preparing for Comic con. At 3 pm Howard hugged us all, climbed into the van and left. I watched him drive away. Then I walked into the house and stopped. Every time Howard leaves on a trip I go into this numb state where I’m just waiting for him to get back. I spend lots of time reading or watching movies because it makes the time pass more quickly. I’m usually able to shake it off after the first 24 hours, mostly. The rhythms of the days are broken. True, I enjoy watching girlie movies without feeling like I’m using time I should be spending with Howard, but then the movies are over and the house is empty of conversation. Unless I want to spend time listening to the antics of the Sim families that my kids have created. (We’re experiencing a Sims revival at our house this week.)
Tomorrow I need to get back into gear. There are things I need to get done before next week. “Waiting for Howard to get back” should not be among my top ten priorities.
I get in a funk every time I have to send my daughter back to grandma’s or when I have to send the boys back to their Birth Mom. I have to shake myself out of it and keep going because life doesn’t stop for tears.
Ona