Getting Older

“So does 39 feel any different than 38?” Howard asked the morning after my birthday.
I paused a moment, searching my mind for any reaction. “Not really.” I answered. The day itself passed with no particular fanfare other than Howard and I splurging on a nice dinner. I don’t feel any particular angst about getting older because I greatly value the experiences I have gained. That said, I do feel a growing awareness that I am probably near the best possible intersection of wisdom and energy. I know enough to make good plans and I still have the energy and time to carry them out. Later in my life I will have even more wisdom, but at some point energy is going to ebb. With luck this particular intersection will last me a decade or two. If I’m really lucky, it will last three. I still have time to accomplish many things. Yet I am beginning to be aware that I am near the point where I have less time ahead of me than I have behind. Howard says that the first 15-20 years don’t really count in this particular math. Those years are all about growing up and that this equation should measure adulthood. In that case, I have another decade before I cross the line into less-time-ahead land. Or it is possible that a medical diagnosis or accident will show me that I crossed that threshold some time in years past. All of it is merely a thought experiment. No matter how much time I do or do not have, my real task is to decide what I should do with today. If I fill my life with well-chosen todays, then my life will be good; no matter how long or short it may be.

1 thought on “Getting Older”

  1. I had a conversation with Drew about turning thirty, in which he observed that I am not one of those women who is bothered by aging. I think it’s because I have full confidence that my thirties are going to be better than my twenties. I like living an established life instead of constantly having to scramble to build and shift and rebuild. I like the stability of building permanent things, and those things only increase in number as I get older. If my best days are ahead of me, then getting older is a good thing.

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