This week it is very hard for me to hold on to the day. The part of my brain which measures time by events is sure that we’ve had at least a week since Monday. Physiology agrees with that estimate, surely I can’t have hefted 4000 lbs of boxes in a smaller span of time. Schedule keeper knows full well that we have lots of week left because there are events planned for this week which have not yet occurred. The planner wants to estimate me backward in time because there are many tasks yet to get done before those scheduled events and with all these tasks, surely we have more days for them. Visual cues are confused as at least a couple of my children haven’t changed clothes in several days. Kids do that if I am sufficiently distracted. My computer thinks today is Wednesday. It is probably right, though I have to work hard to believe that it is not Tuesday or Thursday instead.
I am so very tired.
Today I was flipping through invoices and noticing how many of the names I recognize. I see them year after year as we release books, names from all over the world. I’ve never been to Finland, Germany, Indonesia, Spain, France, India, or Portugal, but our books are going there. I see these names and remember the wonder of it all, that Howard and I, who feel very ordinary, can be part of something that travels so far and brings at least a small measure of happiness.
I’m also happy because the new “small batches every day” system has succeeded in lowering the intensity of my stress. I still get stressed. There isn’t any less work, but the work is getting done. Next time we need to leave Howard more lead time on the sketching, but he’s being amazing, as always. The first batch of sketched books will go out tomorrow. All of the unsketched books are sent.
The kids have been amazing troopers. They’ve fed themselves breakfasts, helped make dinners, and not complained when we have to kick them out of the family room to get work done.
Tomorrow begins early, all my days do this week. Tomorrow is…Thursday.
I’m pretty sure.
Whatever day it is, it’ll be a good one.