I just contacted my Patch’s cello teacher to tell her we’re not coming for a while. I called it an “indefinite hiatus,” but the truth is that we’re not likely to come back. In the two years he has been playing, Patch has grown increasingly less able to face cello practicing and cello lessons. Finally I looked him in the eyes and said “If you don’t like the lessons, and you don’t enjoy orchestra, and you don’t want to practice, then maybe you just don’t like cello.” The light dawned in his eyes. He finally recognized that while he wants to like it, right now he doesn’t. Right now it is one thing too many. Right now he needs to focus on some other things. So we’ve cancelled the private lessons. I’ll go talk to the school counselors and see about getting him transferred into chorus for his music credit. (No at-home practice required.) Then I’ll take the cello back to the music store from which we rented it. One less expense, one less stress.
This is not a failure. Making sure Patch sees that is my one goal in this letting go process. I don’t even need to grieve. I would have loved for him to love playing cello. Since he doesn’t, I’ll wait to see what other thing comes to him that he loves.