Lessons learned
I have just finished my third re-draft of the story I intend to submit to Julie Czerneda’s anthology. This has been by far the most painful writing experience that I’ve ever had. I’ve often heard writers talk about bleeding over their work. I never felt that way about writing until this story. I’m not sorry for the experience. It has taught me lots about how I write. Here are a few things I’ve learned:
- 30 days is a very short time for me to try to go from nothing to completed story. In order to accomplish this feat I have to push the creative process hard. This is rather like giving pitocin to a woman in labor. The baby is born much more quickly, but the contractions hurt a lot more. In the end the speed of the labor does not affect the quality of the baby. Given the choice I much prefer having leisure to let the process be natural and much less painful.
- I should not give my stories out to be critiqued the day that I finish the draft. At that point I am still emotionally invested in the stories and the commentary begins to feel like a personal attack when it is not. Also, the critiques are sure to mention problems that I would have noticed on my own if I’d only given myself enough time to see them. Then I’m angry at the critique for telling me stuff I already know and angry at myself for not seeing it before I handed the story out to be read. Also I start feeling embarrassed that I handed out such a poor draft to be read.
- Tearing a story apart and redrafting only days after finishing the previous draft is very painful. I need to give myself time to detach from the story before restructuring it. When I’ve just finished drafting I remember clearly how much work it was. The last thing I want, is to do all the work again. It also renders further critiques on the previous draft pointless. This is a problem when I don’t wait for all the critiques to arrive before I start redrafting. This time I was in such a hurry that I’d start redrafting after each critique rather than taking time to compare critiques and decide what needed changed. I do much better if I get all the critiques and let them simmer in my back brain for awhile before I start to re-work the story.
No one gets to see this redraft yet. I am going to put it aside and think of other things for three days. On Monday I’ll re-read it. If it still feels really good to me, then I’ll send it off. If it still needs work, then I’ll do the work. I may decide that I need other opinions, but I don’t think so. In the middle of this process my confidence in my ability to write was shaken. This is my fault for not giving my instincts time to work. I rushed too fast to get the opinions of others. Now it is time for me to slow down and trust those instincts.