Loss

Yesterday a man was walking his daughter to kindergarten when they were both struck by a car and killed. I saw the local headline yesterday morning and skimmed over it. Yesterday evening I found out that this was someone that Howard had met before. I too have a Kindergarten daughter. I’ve hugged her lots today. I’ve hugged my other kids too. I spend a majority of my days doing things for my kids and requiring things of them. Sometimes I get to the end of the day without once really looking at them or enjoying who they are.

I believe that families are reunited after death. Not everyone does, but I do. This man and his daughter are not gone forever. But that does not prevent friends and family from mourning their absence. Sometimes I look at a particular child and ponder what life would be like if somehow that one were taken from me. It is always a tearful contemplation that ends with me having to go hug the child in question. I’m afraid of losing a child. I’m afraid of losing Howard. Not because they’ll be gone forever, but because I’ll miss them so terribly while we are separate.