I am a creature of habit
When I am faced with a challenge, I follow the same steps:
1. Decide what to do using a combination of logic and intuition/inspiration
2. Fret, doubt my choices, and envision all possible ways my choice could go wrong.
3. When the time comes to act, take a deep breath and do what I decided in step one.
If step 1 and step 3 are right next to each other, I can sometimes skip step 2. Sometimes step one and step two are all mixed up together. If step 3 is delayed from step 1, then I will spend a significant portion of the intervening time on step 2. The intensity of step 2 is directly proportional to the size of the challenge.
Today I finally tipped over into step 3 for our Worldcon trip. This is a big relief after spending nearly two weeks trying to not be in step 2 and failing. But I won’t be all the way into step 3 until Howard and I arrive in Denver.
Gleek and Patch are in my brother’s car on their way to my parent’s house. Tomorrow morning I’ll put Kiki and Link (and three cousins) on an airplane to be greeted at the other end by my parents. I feel like I’ve put my heart into a box and handed it over to someone else for safe keeping. I’m trying to keep busy so that I don’t notice the absences. Being away from the kids is easier if I’m also away from home.