Tonight I’m thinking of another donkey. This one doesn’t have a story really, not like the other one. This one is just stubborn. There are two ways to get the donkey to move. One is to hang a carrot in front of it, thus enticing it to move forward. The other is to threaten it with a stick so that it moves to avoid pain. These same motivational strategies will work on people too. It’s just that for people you don’t usually employ actual carrots or sticks.
Monday’s confrontation with Gleek did not solve the bedtime problem. We have continued to have nightly struggles with keeping her in bed. Tonight she and I discussed it, she told me she would be good, I said “remember” right as I walked out the door. Within 3 minutes she was out of bed and opening her door. The agreed upon consequence for breaking bedtime rules is that I take her security blanket. I had to do it last night and was then awakened at 2 am by a disoriented and inconsolable Gleek sleepwalking to find her blanket. Not something to which I wanted I want to subject either of us again. But she’d been out of bed. So I took the blanket and told her that if she could lie very still for 10 minutes, I would bring it back. She lay very still. She lay so still that she was asleep before the time was up.
Aha! I think. Finally something that works.
It works because there was a carrot. I’ve been trying to solve this problem with applications of bigger, scarier sticks. Not once have I introduced a reward for good behavior. DOH!
Lying still in a dark room with no people in it, is torture to Gleek. It is so much like torture that the only sticks which might outweigh it are the big ugly ones that I won’t use. All I need to do is find a stick-and-carrot combination that is sufficiently motivating for her. Emphasis on the carrots.
Supposedly, the carrot generally works better than the stick. Certainly I’ve had a lot of success with bribery with my little ones where no stick was large enough to move them… I suppose if one were to apply it bodily, but that’s a donkey of a different feather, really.
Supposedly, the carrot generally works better than the stick. Certainly I’ve had a lot of success with bribery with my little ones where no stick was large enough to move them… I suppose if one were to apply it bodily, but that’s a donkey of a different feather, really.
I’ve found “if you go to bed and stay in bed we’ll make pancakes for breakfast when it is daylight” to work. Sometimes the pancakes gets subsituted for beignets or crumpets or french toast. Sometimes it gets shifted to a movie or a computer game.
I’ve found “if you go to bed and stay in bed we’ll make pancakes for breakfast when it is daylight” to work. Sometimes the pancakes gets subsituted for beignets or crumpets or french toast. Sometimes it gets shifted to a movie or a computer game.
LOL!!!!
Okay, you will appreciate this.
I tried to use that exact same donkey metaphor with Shaggy once, when I was going on one of my diatribes about being kind to yourself.
I must have been on one at the time, because everything I said came out sounding dirty. Really dirty. By the time I had finished with the metaphor, we were both rolling with laughter. When we were able to speak again he told me I got the award for worst analogy ever.
Consequently, every so often he will now announce to me: “I’m going to go dangle my carrot.” And then we’ll both crack up.
I’m sitting here laughing just thinking about it.
LOL!!!!
Okay, you will appreciate this.
I tried to use that exact same donkey metaphor with Shaggy once, when I was going on one of my diatribes about being kind to yourself.
I must have been on one at the time, because everything I said came out sounding dirty. Really dirty. By the time I had finished with the metaphor, we were both rolling with laughter. When we were able to speak again he told me I got the award for worst analogy ever.
Consequently, every so often he will now announce to me: “I’m going to go dangle my carrot.” And then we’ll both crack up.
I’m sitting here laughing just thinking about it.