Month: August 2006

24 the TV series

Last week Howard and I finally rented 24 Season one disc 1 from Blockbuster. We were fascinated and enthralled. It was compelling. We had to wait to get our hands on disc 2. After watching disc 2 both Howard and I have decided that we don’t need to watch any more of it. The concept is fascinating, but the whole show is about tension. Each episode was a cliff hanger and none of them had any resolution to them at all. There was never anything happy to any of the episodes. That is as untrue to life as a happy feel-good show. I much prefer shows that are a mixture of happy and painful. Because life is like that.

Once I decided not to finish the series I went online and read a bunch of spoilers. Apparently Howard and I have already watched the best of the series. Later it devolves into soap operaesque contortions to keep the plots tense. The one plot thread I’d like to know the end to, which I couldn’t find anywhere, is about David Palmer presidential candidate. Does he eventually tell the truth to the public and how does that work out for him and his family? I think that he’s president in season 2, so it can’t have gone too badly. It was the only plotline that didn’t involve gunfire and the only one that no one cared enough to talk about.

Things I crossed off my list

Last night I created a dolist for today which seemed overwhelming. Now all of the things are done and I still have day left. I’m still not sure how that happened. The list follows with a brief description for each item.

Call Link’s school about his teacher assignment:
Link has been very vocal about wanting a male teacher this year. I agree that it would probably be a good thing for him. I put in a request last spring stating I felt he would do better in a class with a male teacher. His class assignment arrived yesterday and his teacher is female. I quickly decided that for Link’s sake I can’t let this slide. He needs to know that I will fight for him when the issue is really important. I do not know that he will end up with his class assignment changed, but I do want to understand the class placement system better. Was there a reason that my request was disregarded or was it simple neglect? I called the school this morning and left a message, then I drove by on the chance that someone might be there. It looks like office hours won’t begin until next week, so this item is on hold until then.

Order a new computer: Thank you all for your kind recommendations about which kind of computer works for you. The desktop computer can do everything I need a computer to do. It is also several hundred dollars cheaper than a laptop. For now I’m just replacing the desktop. Perhaps after we’ve presold the next book I’ll feel like we have enough money to spare for me to spend on convenience rather than necessity. All things considered, I’d rather let my kids have lessons than me have a laptop.

Sign up for kids lessons: I’ve been unable to do this because until class assignments arrived, I was uncertain what Gleek’s kindergarten schedule would be. That information arrived yesterday, so today I trotted over the The Little Gym and registered them all. Link is taking an intro to Karate class there. (It is probably generic martial arts introduction rather than Karate, but that’s what they call it.) The other three kids all wanted gymnastics. They’re all in separate classes according to age, which is good. I love the Little Gym. It is a completely non-competitive gymnastics program. The focus is on physical development rather than competition training. I had Kiki in a competition program when she was 6 and neither of us liked it at all.

Drop off a load at the local thrift store drive: I had a pile of stuff taking up space in my house. I loaded it. Drove there. Unloaded it. Now it is gone. Yay!

Buy cases of canned goods at local Case Lot sale: Every August a local grocery store called Macey’s has a case lot sale. They buy tons of food and offer at discount prices. I buy a carload of canned goods each August. Then over the course of the year we gradually use up the food that I bought. It is a great way to save money as long as you have the space to store cases of food. And as long as you actually use the canned goods that you bought.

Answer phone questions from my credit card company: This wasn’t on my list, but it happened anyway. Apparently spending hundreds of dollars on Little Gym, then hundreds more on groceries, and then even more hundreds on a new computer, all within only a few hours raises red flags in the credit card system. It should. Especially since we tend not to spend that way these days. It’s all sorted out and there are no problems.

Lunch is next. After that I’m sure I’ll find something else to do. Preferrably something that doesn’t cost quite so much money. There’s always laundry if I can’t think of anything else.

computer ponderings

Last night Howard and I began discussing buying a new computer for me since my old one is threatening catastrophic failure. We debated the various benefits and drawbacks of laptops and desktops. Both had features that I liked. Neither one completely fit the bill, but replacing the desktop was obviously the sensible solution. As a joke I said to Howard that what would be perfect would be if I could have two computers. Wonderful man that he is, Howard seriously considered this as an option. I don’t need fancy machines, just workhorses. It looks like we can get both for around $800. And since I do all the accounting and shipping for our business, the desktop one can be a business expense.

I have never in my life owned a computer purchased just for me. For most of my life I’ve shared machines. The two times I had a computer of my own, they were older machines that someone else just didn’t need anymore. Now I’m staring at the prospect of not one, but two computers just for me. It seems unbelievable. Part of me is giggling with glee at the prospect. A large part of me feels like the laptop would be frivolous spending since I’ve gotten by without one for a long time. Of course I’ve wanted one for a long time too.

None of our money is really “spare” right now, but we’ve found $800 that isn’t imediately needed for something else. Now I am pondering on the question: Six months from now, will I be happy I spent on a laptop, or will I consider it money poorly spent?

Confrontations

I read a story today about a man who gave a donkey to his friend. He assured the friend that the donkey was very well behaved, he only had to whisper in the donkey’s ear and it would do what it was asked. The friend took the donkey for two days and then brought it back. He couldn’t get it to do anything. The man offered to show the friend how it was done. He took a wooden stick and whacked the donkey on the nose, then whispered in it’s ear.
“I thought you said all I had to do was whisper.” Said the friend.
“Well, yeah, but first you have to get it’s attention.”

I’m feeling great affinity for that story after managing Gleek today. She is a wonderful, sweet little girl. I can ask her to do things and she will do them gladly. But often I have to metaphorically whack her on the nose to get her attention first. Sometimes that means a major confrontation in which I have to find the right lever to apply. I don’t have as many levers as I would like because she is so happy go lucky about almost everything.

I have been having a terrible time getting her to bed lately. I’ll tuck her into bed. She’ll object about my departure. Then all will be silent for an hour. I’ll send Kiki to bed only to discover that Gleek is not asleep at all. Gleek is wide awake playing in her bed. That is a major problem because shutting those two into a room together is a recipe for a fight. I need a way to make Gleek stop keeping herself awake. If she lies still for 5 minutes she is out like a light. I have scowled. I have scolded. I have confiscated her lamp. I have confiscated toys. I have given detailed instructions about what she should do, which she ignored. She was willing to live with all of that. Each night she claimed to be sorry, and she probably was, but not sorry enough to remember it the next night. Tonight I warned her and then confiscated her security blanket. She imediately let forth a litany of “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

I let her feel upset for awhile until she started saying things like “everyone badons [abandons] me. Now even my family badons me.” People believe the stories they tell themselves. Gleek was telling a story about being a victim. I couldn’t let that continue. I went in and talked to her about choices and consequences. And how “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean anything unless you stop doing the thing you are appologizing for. She listened and I think she finally heard. She met my eyes and promised never to break the bedtime rules again. I believed in her sincerity and returned her blankets.

Hopefully she will remember this tomorrow night and she will stop pushing the limits in this direction. It is too much to hope for that she’ll stop pushing limits completely. I figure I’ve got another couple of months before this pushing phase is past for awhile.

Household quirkiness

Houses and the devices in them have a tendency toward quirkiness. It usually happens slowly and I adapt to the quirks so that I hardly notice them until I have to explain them to someone else. Then I start feeling silly for putting up with such an obviously defective gadget.

I’m thinking about quirks because we just replaced all the doorknobs for exterior doors. The front doorknob wouldn’t unlock with a key, you could only unlock it from inside. This meant we had to use the bolt to lock the house when we left. But the bolt wouldn’t slide into place if the door was shut tight. Instead you had to shut the door loosely. The back door would bounce back open unless it was shut gently but firmly. The garage doorknob simply came off in my hand one day which prompted us to change all three.

While we were in a house fixing mood, Howard also replace the laundry room light switch. It didn’t turn off. Flip up = on. Flip down = on. There was one spot halfway between up and down that was off, but you had to carefully balance the switch into that position to get it to stay. The off spot was increasingly difficult to find and had begun requiring sideways motions. Very strange for a switch. Howard replaced it and it works normally. Now I just have adjust my habits of thought that tell me trying to turn off the light isn’t worth the trouble.

We still need to fix the switch in the girls’ bedroom which doesn’t have an ‘on’ position.

Our dishwasher is less quirky than it used to be. For a long time we had to make sure to hit the ‘cancel’ button in between dish loads. The water wasn’t completely draining out and if we didn’t empty it we’d end up washing the next batch in left over dirty rinse water. Frequent additions of vinegar to dish loads seems to have broken up the deposits that caused that problem. Our glasses are clean again.

The clothes washer still makes clothes smell funny unless I run one batch in three on hot water. Also it over flowed once, so I’m afraid to use it on the largest load size.

The kid computer sometimes doesn’t realize that it has a CD drive. This panics it so much that it won’t boot properly and has to be restarted.

My computer can not be on unsupervised because the cooling fan is dying. We’re going to get it fixed, but we keep getting distracted.

There is a lump underneath the wall to wall carpet in the family room. I’m pretty sure it is a loose piece of padding that failed to get pulled up when the carpet was replaced.

The keyboard tray on the kid’s computer desk often gets jammed underneath the desk. I have to hit it at exactly the right angle to jar it completely off track and then I can manhandle it back into position.

The fronts fell off of three of our kitchen drawers rendering them unusable and ugly. We used duct tape on one of them so that it could still be used for our silverware. I still have the drawer fronts, but we need to build new drawer boxes for them to attach to.

The water line in our fridge sometimes freezes up so that no water will come out. It seems to have to do with too much ice in the bin becuase emptying the bin will cause the line to unfreeze about an hour later. When the line unfreezes it spits some water out onto the floor.

All of the labels on our fusebox are only mildly accurate depictions of what throwing that fuse will actually turn off.

Funny how we’ll live with a minor annoyance for years without thinking about it. Some of those things would be easy to fix, we just never seem to get around to doing it.

Frivolity

Today was the 13th anniversary of Howard and my wedding. In past years we’ve celebrated by saying “happy anniversary,” painting the house, or forgetting it completely. On our 10th anniversary Howard’s big gift to me was a mcgriddle. We just haven’t made a big deal out of the event. This year I wanted to do something. I wanted to go out on a date and spend time with just Howard. Our anniversary seemed like a good excuse to impose on a friend for free babysitting, so away we went.

Our budget has been very tight for the past two years. We have some more wiggle room now, but we still have to count pennies. We decided to splurge on a full price movie. We bought tickets early and had time to kill. Howard had noticed that the shirt I was wearing had a stain on it, (I meant to change, then forgot) so he sugguested that we wander into Sears and buy me a new shirt as a present. That shopping trip was a delight. Howard was focused on “get shirt for Sandra.” I was focused on savoring the experience of getting to select a brand new shirt for myself. It had to be a shirt I would love because I’d be paying an order of magnitude more money than I am accustomed to spend on any single item of clothing. Clearance racks give me sticker shock these days. Fortunately Howard was also focused on “make Sandra happy.” And I had a goal of “have fun with Howard.” So it worked out alright. We found a shirt I liked and then I was uncertain about and then liked. Howard was stable in his liking of it. We bought it and I changed into it. I’m still wearing it and I like it. We spent some of the rest of the evening laughing at each other for acting so typically male and female during the shopping trip. I don’t think we have ever gone clothes shopping together before and our different approaches and selections were amusing.

As an aside, I don’t know if there is any expression of love greater than a man volunteering to attend upon his wife while she browses through a women’s clothing section. I don’t think Howard realized what he was signing up for, but he never once complained. He teased me later. I teased him later. But He was honestly just glad to make me happy. It makes me sniffle to think of it.

We ate dinner at a mall chinese place. It was cheap, fast, close, and relatively yummy. I managed to not dribble anything on my new shirt. Then we watched Monster House. It seemed appropriate to watch a mildly spooky movie for a 13th anniversary. After the movie I didn’t feel quite ready to go home. Howard and I do lots of things together, but this evening had a real “date” feeling to it that I was loathe to relinquish. Going to movies together is a thing we occasionally do, but the focus is usually on the movie. We dash there and then dash home. Tonight the focus was on being together and it was wonderful. We stretched the evening just a little longer by stopping for ice cream.

Every penny we spent tonight fell under the category of “frivolous spending.” We didn’t need to see a movie, or eat out for dinner, or buy a shirt, or eat ice cream. But when I add it all up we spent less than $60. Was this evening worth $60 to me? Yes. Definitely. No doubt about it. Of course it has now whetted my appetite. I want to do more frivolous things. Some of them cost money, some of them don’t, but all of them make me feel care free and pretty and young. It’s nice to feel that way when the rest of my life is so stable and responsible and full of dishes and weeds.

An accumulation of thoughts

I find myself staring at this blank space on the computer screen and wondering what I should write today. I could tell a tale of woe about how difficult Gleek has been to put to bed lately with specific details highlighting last night’s antics. Or I could write a frustrating saga of sisterly conflict between my two daughters. Or I could tell how for no apparent reason Kiki left off fighting with her sister and began cleaning up the house. Perhaps it has something to do with the long conversation Kiki shared with my friend and I. It wasn’t an important conversation, we just talked about boyfriends past and present and potentially future. Or, if I look at it a different way, the conversation was vital, because I got to pass on to Kiki information about boys and dating that she will someday use. In return I recieved the comforting information that she doesn’t feel ready to even start worrying about it yet. She’s happy to just stay doing kid stuff for awhile longer. So that was one of those important moments that seem insignificant. And hey look, clean house!

I could also ponder longwindedly about friendship. It is really nice to have the kind of friend who understands that I sometimes have to say something out loud, before I can figure out whether I really believe it or not. I love having a friend who is interested enough to challenge me into finding what I’m really trying to say. I love being that kind of friend and I think I need to work on being that friend to more people. It is as simple as an inquiring look and the question “Why?”

I could vent about the frustration I’m experiencing over my computers failing cooling fan. I’m now afraid to walk away from the computer and leave it running. This is a serious problem because when the children scream I don’t want to have to take the time to save things and shut down, because I know that sometimes it takes me hours to get back. I don’t want the fan to fail and my computer to burn out during my absense. Also I’m starting to feel like the computer is a limited resource that I should save for important business things rather than rambling in my journal. Only, my journal and my writing is important too. I don’t want to have to choose. I’ve begun developing a wistful list of ideal computer characteristics for that far off day when I can buy the computer I want, rather than inheriting one that someone else no longer needs. I think it will be a laptop. It has to have internet connectivity. I’d prefer wireless, but only if the connection is stable rather than requiring regular tweaking by Howard. It also needs to be able to connect to a printer, preferrably wirelessly. And I want it to have a drive that can play DVDs. In the meantime I’ll just make do with a new cooling fan as soon as Howard has the cycles to install it for me. I don’t really NEED a new computer. I just need the one I’ve got to not die.

I suppose I could tell about our trip to the Living Planet Aquarium. It really isn’t an aquarium yet. It is a preview of what the financeers are trying to get enough funding to build. Eventually Salt Lake City will have a real aquarium. For now they have some cool fish tanks inside a refurbished grocery store. I kept wondering where the shopping carts were hiding. The effect was particularly strong next to the lobster tank because we regularly go to a grocery store that sells live lobsters for cooking. The kids had fun. I’m glad we went. They all got to pet a stingray except Patches who wasn’t willing to get wet to do it. I tried to get creative with my camera and take some cool pictures. Instead I got a very clear picture of the limitations of my camera. I’d love to take gorgeous pictures like those I see in photoblogs, but I’m just not willing to spend the time or money right now.

School starts in 20 days. In theory now is the time for me to be readjusting sleep schedules. I’m trying. I really am. But the kids are not helping me in this project. Neither is the sun. It doesn’t go down early enough to trigger bedtime thoughts on schedule. The impending beginning of school also has me checking my mailbox regularly. Sometime in the next week I’ll be recieving letters telling me about my kid’s classroom assignments. I need to know who their teachers will be and, in the case of Gleek, what kindergarten schedule she will be placed on. Until I have that information I can’t make further plans for the fall schedule. In particular I can’t sign the kids up for the gymnastics and karate lessons that they want. At least this year I feel like I have the money necessary to fund those lessons. We couldn’t afford lessons for them last year. I have a whole slew of hopes and worries relating to the school assignments, but fretting will do me no good. So I wait for the letters to arrive and try to pretend that I’m not fretting.

Patterns matter more than incidents. That was said in a conversation today and I want to remember it. I need to remember it most on the days where I have big splashy failures. Today wasn’t one of those days. Today I was in good parenting form. But I’m not always in good form, so I need to remember. Patterns matter more than incidents.

And now I’m done for awhile.

A question

Sooo… How panicked should I be that the high pitched whine of my aged computer has begun taking dips into lower and slower frequencies?