Providing Christmas
On Sunday I inventoried everything that I have on hand for the kid’s Christmas. I collect stuff all year long at garage sales or dollar stores or stuff that neighbors are getting rid of. It all goes into this huge box I have in the storage room. Then as Christmas approaches I delve into the overstuffed box to determine which things will make an appearance this year, which things will be held against future Christmases or birthdays, and which things aren’t worth keeping at all. I’m always surprised at the quantity that falls into this third category. What was I thinking when I collected some of this junk?
Our Christmas budget is much larger than it was last year or the year before. For both of those years, our entire Christmas budget was under $100. This year after the sales of the books we have some more wiggle room. We’ve already spent five times that amount providing some of the games and shiny things that we just haven’t been able to afford for more than two years. Part of me feels glad that we are able to do this, part of me feels guilty for abandoning the frugal living principles that pulled us through the past two Christmases.
On the other hand this year I actually feel anticipation for Christmas day rather than fear that my hours and hours of scavenging will leave my kids disappointed at gift opening time. This year I know for certain that each child is getting at least two items which will cause wide-eyed delight. Some of these delight filled items came from my big box. Others came from Amazon.com in shiny new packaging. I don’t miss the nailbiting worry over Christmas giving. Instead I now worry about a slide into commercialism. I also worry about how much we are spending because, while we do have a cash flow, it just barely meets our needs. We need to not be stupid about spending money. This whole Schlock/Tayler Family edifice could still come crashing down if a book fails to sell well enough.
And so I quaver between fearing that we’ve spent too much and wishing we could spend more. Somehow I think that all parents do this every Christmas, no matter what their financial situation.