Making time for the kids

During the month of March I was very focused on writing and other projects. I felt compelled to bring some things, like the website and business cards, to completion. Now it is April and I’m feeling a little out of balance. I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days about the kids and my role as their mother. The oft quoted phrase from a leader of my church floats through my minds “No success can compensate for failure in the home.” I feel like I’ve been failing my kids. Their wants and needs have been pushed aside a lot lately as I try to make them all conform to my plans for the hour, or day, or week. I’ve also been thinking of my sister Nancy. When she was visiting here I watched her drop her things to respond to her kids. I don’t think I was ever as attentive to my kids as she is to hers. I certainly have not been lately. I’ve been thinking about the trip to Seattle. During the trip my whole focus was to keep the kids safe and to make sure they enjoyed themselves. This meant that I did not get to do some of the things I would have liked to do, but it was alright because I was really focused on the welfare of the kids.

I am a planner. I always have a plan. I invariably get grumpy when my plan gets rearranged. I need to build more of my plans around the things that my kids want me to do. I am always doing things for my kids. Many of them are things that the kids don’t feel need to be done or would rather I didn’t do. I need to make space to do some of the things that they keep asking me to do, but I fail to find the time for. Today I sat down and listed all the things that my kids have been asking me to do, but which I haven’t gotten done.

Kiki has been wanting to try putting egg into her hair to make it shiny. She also wants me to fix two pairs of pajamas. Kiki’s birthday is coming up and we need to plan that. Kiki also has big plans for an embroidery project that she needs my help to accomplish. Link has been asking me to fix his blankets for months. He is also wanting to find ways to earn money so he can buy a video game. He needs me to help him sort through his belongings and decide which ones to sell in a store that he sets up for neighbors and siblings. Gleek wants to have a manicure time. She also wants me to do craft projects with her. She wants to have time to talk at bedtime and her blankets have needed fixing forever. Patches is constantly asking me to sit down and play games with him, I almost never do. He really wants to know how to read and write, I haven’t been teaching him. He would also enjoy going to the library story time and sitting in my lap to listen to the stories.

Over the next few weeks I want to get every one of these things done. There will probably be other things which the kids will want me to do as well. I can’t plan all of every day to be at the whims of my children, but I can make sure that there is time for the really important things. I will also be paying more attention to making sure that there are regular meal times and bedtimes. There have been many tantrums and upsets which could have been avoided if only I’d been ahead of the curve instead of behind it. Being a mother is my primary job and I need to go back to putting it first.