What you can do
When we hear about events, like the shooting at Virginia Tech yesterday, our instinct is to grab our loved ones and to huddle somewhere to keep them safe. We begin to look askance at that strange person down the street or down the hall. We wonder if he or she might be the next one to pull out a rifle and shoot people. We want to withdraw from these people in an attempt to keep ourselves safe.
This is exactly wrong.
If you want to prevent an event like Columbine or Virginia Tech, you should befriend those with no friends. People with friends and social contacts do not spiral in loneliness and despair. People with something to live for do not share their pain by firing a gun. Every case of a mass shooting features a shooter who was called a “loner.” Think about it. You know a loner. Have you said hello lately? Smiled? Validated that person’s existence? You don’t have to be best friends or hang out all the time. You don’t have to put yourself in frightening situations. All you have to do is meet the loner’s eyes and treat him like a person instead of an obstacle.
Most loners will never be violent. Violence is a choice. Most people with the same amount of pain as yesterday’s shooter choose other ways to deal with it. This is admirable. But life would be better for everyone if there are a dozen friendly people nearby to ease the pain.
We are not powerless to prevent violence. All day, every day, good people do a million things to help each other, to prevent people from being driven to violent extremes. Look around you and see who needs your friendship today. That is what you can do.