Day: June 27, 2007

Usually when I start writing a post, I’ve already got it half planned out. I use the times when my hands are busy and my brain is bored to compose. Today I didn’t, so what you are getting right now is me poking around in my brain to see what rattled loose during the day. Today I was listless and fidgety. I did not want to read or clean or be with the kids. I finally declared the feeling to be cabin fever. I informed Kiki that she was babysitting and I took off for nearly three hours. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do as I left the house. I just knew that I wanted the chance to be near pretty things without having to shout at kids to stop climbing on them. I suppose it would have made sense for me to go someplace like a museum, but instead I stopped at the local thrift store. Clothes are pretty, right?

Actually many of the clothes in a thrift store are not pretty. Far from it. But there were some pretty things. I wanted to find some church clothes in bright spring/summer colors. All my church clothes are dark. I found a really pretty skirt that made me look horribly fat. But the karma evened out when I found a shirt that I wasn’t sure I’d like, but I tried it on anyway and it looked fantastic. I came home with 5 shirts and 2 skirts for about $20. I’m not sure about the skirts though. They may be going back.

It was good to get out. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be back at my house again, but I didn’t hate it anymore. And later in the evening I marshalled the kids and they finally picked up the disaster that was our family room. That mess has been lurking for a week and I haven’t found the fortitude to attack it. But it is gone now. Banished by the miracle that is children who actually clean when they are asked to do so. If only they were always so enthusiastic/helpful.

Actually I’ve been really impressed with Kiki and Link lately. They have both been finishing their morning chores without any reminding from me. Gleek and Patches haven’t been doing the same, but then I’ve hardly been consistent about insisting. Not only that, but the chores required of Gleek and Patches require my participation while Link’s and Kiki’s do not. I don’t think it means the system is broken. It just means that I need to be better about helping the younger two get their stuff done.

July is looming. July is empty. We are in our fourth week of summer vacation. This means that the summer schedule has settled into a habit of sorts. It is no longer new and interesting. Next week the summer schedule gets even emptier. It will stay that way for the next 7 weeks. 7 weeks. I do not like to be cliche. It is so cliche for mothers to bemoan the fact that all the kids are home all summer. I’ve been berating myself for not dealing with it better. I should be able to deal with this. I should be able to pull my act together and put on a good attitude and make the summer be fun instead of grouchy and cabin feverish. The thought of 7 more weeks of near constant child monitoring makes me want to scream. How did I do it before the kids were in school? Oh. That’s right. They napped. And they needed piles more sleep than they need now. Back then they’d actually go to bed several hours before I crashed. Now they don’t. Tonight I finally got them all into bed at 10:45 pm. I manage 8 pm bedtimes during the school year, why can’t I make it happen during the summer? I think I will blame the sun and the weather. The best hours to be outside are 6-9 both AM and PM. And the kids feel it is wrong to be going to bed when the sun is still up.

I still remember how tired I was of the school schedule. I’m not particularly looking forward to entering another hectic race like last year. Supposedly this year will be different, but I’ve heard that before. So I’m wary of the looming empty summer and I’m also wary of the school year beyond it. This doesn’t leave me much to look forward to. I should probably fix that, but it takes time and effort to plan things to look forward to.

I really need to remember how to enjoy today instead of always looking for the next thing.

There are more thoughts rattling in here, but it is late and my brain wants me to sleep now. Maybe sleep will put things into better order.