Things of Today
Wake up earlier than I wanted to fix breakfast. Birthday boy requested waffles.
Drop Kiki off to take the ACT test.
Harvest two giant batches of grapes. Realize that there are just as many left on the vines.
Put first set of grapes into sink full of water to find all the hiding bugs.
Mow lawn.
Abandon lawn mower and flee when bumping Winston our gargoyle reveals that yellow jackets have taken up residence in his hollow interior.
Warn all family members and neighbors to not go near the infested gargoyle.
Retrieve lawnmower and finish all the parts of the lawn that are not near Winston.
Pick grapes off of vines. Smash grapes. Boil grapes. Strain grape juice out of skins and seeds. Put jars of juice into fridge.
Repeat.
Let kids eat left overs for lunch and microwaved frozen food for dinner.
Figure out that tying a rope to the gargoyle’s head will let us tip him over from a safe distance. Declare that 8 pm will be the killing hour for yellow jackets.
Contemplate picking more grapes. Decide not to.
Wander over to watch the yellow jackets. Think how cool and amazing they are and how they really can not be allowed to nest right next to the kids play area.
Pick two boxes of pears so that they can begin to ripen. Plan to make pear butter next week.
Stare at nothing for awhile.
Make sure all the kids are indoors, then pull the rope to tip Winston over. Go inside to observe the cloud of angry stinging bugs from behind glass. Watch Howard spray them from thirty feet away.
Summer score: Taylers = 3, Stinging bug nests = 0 Hope we can just call that score good for the summer.
Run to store for more wasp spray. Also because Link’s Sunday pants no longer fit.
Realize on the drive home that I am perhaps more tired than I ought to be while driving. Arrive home safe anyway.
Finish straining the last of the grapes. Realize our fridge is now completely full of jars of grape juice and that I’ll have to make jam very soon. But not tonight.
Tell kids to put themselves to bed.
Wander outside with a flashlight to view yellow jacket carnage. Notice how beautiful the nest is. Really a marvel of nature, which one can only observe once all the winged defenders are dead.
Tell kids that while going to bed and reading in bed are similar, they are not the same thing.
Write words about the day. Eat food. Go to bed.