I’m at my brother’s house visiting for the weekend. Like most times when I manage to escape my house for extended periods of time, I now have a head full of thoughts which I want to capture. Unfortunately I only have a borrowed computer on which to capture them. The computer itself is plenty nice, but I worry about tieing up someone else’s machine for too long. On the other hand, since the machine is a laptop I’m finally getting a chance to see what using a laptop might really be like. Thus far the experience has only increased my desire to some day own one.
During this weekend I’ve had several conversations with Gleek. This is a nice change from the last few months when 99% of my interactions with her were disciplinary in nature. Just yesterday she said to me “why am I always the problem? I want to be kind, but it’s always a problem.” She was honestly questioning and trying to figure it out which is a major change from all the avoidance she habitually uses to not deal with emotions. I’m not sure if it is this trip or the first few days of kindergarten, but I think she is developing mentally right now. Suddenly she is seeking answers for questions that she didn’t even know existed. She’s also trying to come to grips with the changes in Kiki. Kiki and Gleek used to play a lot more than they do now. At one point this weekend both Gleek and Kiki were declaring that they didn’t want to be sisters anymore. An hour later they were playing together on the trampoline. They giggled and laughed together for hours. I was pretty stressed during the fight and the playing afterwards was very reassuring.
Every time I get away for awhile I realize it is really good for me to do so. And yet getting away seems to be so hard to do. I wish it was easier. I wish I could do it more often.
Oops. Got to give the computer back. Write more later.