Self promtion 101

I had some thoughts while mowing the lawn. Some of them relate to my recent attendance at a writer’s workshop, others are things that bumped into each other and made connections.

When you’re trying to promote yourself or your work it is very important to be remembered. This is tricky because human brains are designed to sift information and dump all of the unimportant stuff. This is why you can arrive at work and not remember the drive at all. The drive was unimportant so it got dumped. However, if you have to slam on your breaks and swerve to miss a bicyclist, you will remember the entire drive because that swerve becomes the hook on which the entire memory hangs. If you want people to remember you, then you need to find hooks on which to hang the memory.

Sometimes you can use a hook that is already in place. I am frequently able to do this, particularly with people who have met Howard before. All I have to say is “I’m Howard’s wife” and they instantly have a place to hang the memory of me. You can do this even without a famous husband if you can tie into an interest the person already has. For example if you start a conversation about costuming with a costumed person at a con, then costuming can serve as a hook for the memory of you. All those conversations that start with “Oh you’re from Gettysburg? Do you know…” those are efforts to find pre-existing hooks and connections.

Often there isn’t a hook ready and waiting for you. Then you have to set your own hook. The best and surest way to do this is to have multiple contacts over a space of time. People meet you at a con once and forget you, but if you’re at the same con the next year then you can draw upon that previous meeting as a hook. The key is for you to remember enough about the first contact that you can draw it out of their deep stored memory. “I met you here last year” may not be sufficient to trigger a memory, but “I was the one who asked you the question about the frog” probably would be. Inviting people out to lunch is a great way to get remembered because the restaurant and the food can become a hook. This was why I was so frustrated with the workshop. I was not able to get near enough to any of the guests to set a hook and hang a memory. I couldn’t invite them to dinner or even just chat long enough to find a pre-existing hook. In the end I have to be content that our mutual attendance at the workshop will serve as a hook if I ever get a chance to meet any of them again.

It is important to realize that while being remembered is critical to self promoting, you can be remembered negatively. You don’t want to be remembered as “that annoying guy” unless your ability to be annoying is what you’re trying to promote. You will not be remembered by everyone at every meeting. It is possible to make a first impression so vivid that it will never be forgotten, but that is more likely to happen if the first impression is vividly negative. You want to be memorable, not desperate. Remember your multiple contacts can take place in the course of a con or a day or even an hour if you manage it right.