Mother’s Voice
Gleek had a rough time at church. It was primarily because she is still easily fatigued after a week of being sick. She ended up sitting with me in the adult class with her head in my lap. She lay quietly and drifted off to sleep. The lesson involved a discussion where class members offered stories/thoughts/opinions. Voices of various loudness spoke from various points of the room, but Gleek slept completely undisturbed. Until I raised my hand and offered a comment. My voice caused Gleek to stir and wake up though by the time she sat up, I’d finished speaking.
I guess it is part of the mother package. My voice is fundamentally different for my children, just as I am different from other adults that they encounter. My actions will create reactions in them merely by the fact of me being their mother. I think I’ll know that my kids are grown up when they stop reacting to me unconsciously.
It is daunting to see the ripple effect that I have on the kids. It makes me worry about every choice and every word. But then I remember that patterns matter more than incidents. So long as I am building good family patterns, we’ll be okay.