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January 2010
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No one meant for the evening to be hard, but it was anyway

This is the second day in a row I’ve ended up weary and tearful over my kids. I don’t know how to help them. I don’t even know if I should be helping them or if I should be standing back and letting experience be a stern teacher instead. The issues aren’t major ones, just homework and kid squabbles. I fear major issues since these small ones hammer me so hard.

This is as much a part of my parenting experience as the happy days which are full of fun stories. It is an important data point for all those considering parenting or in the midst of their own parenting. I know that I’m good at parenting, or so Howard tells me. Some days I even believe him. But other days I feel like a failure.

Then I comfort myself with the quote from Mary Radmacher:

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day which says “I will try again tomorrow.”

Edited to add: It is now thirty minutes later and things are much better. They always do get better, it is just hard to remember when in the midst of it all.

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