Space of calm

I’ve never been to a therapist. This is not because I am superhuman in my ability to process emotions. I have simply been extraordinarily blessed to have people in my life who know how to help me as I sort things. On Monday one of these wonderful people spotted and poked into a pocket of emotion that I’d been hiding from everyone, most especially myself. Her question prompted me to admit out loud that the last two months have been really hard on me. No matter how my life compares to others, despite the fact that I chose my challenges, no matter how I think I should feel, the truth of the matter is that my emotional experience since August has been a hard one. Only now that things are beginning to settle am I able to sort my experiences.

Reorganizing a room always makes a mess before it looks better. Reorganizing a brain is no different. So yesterday and today were messy. My friend helped me pull out my sad thoughts. Another friend helped me examine them. Then prayer and inspiration helped me get rid of the clutter and find new places for the things I still need. The process was good. I’m glad I went through it, but I am also glad that today’s primary theme was calmness. An organized room feels much more spacious than a messy one. My brain and heart have more room in them today.