Broken patterns
The basic pattern of my days used to be:
Get kids off to school
Work on business tasks in basement office
Welcome Patch home
Finish business tasks in basement office
Welcome other kids home
Sit down with laptop in sunny front room to blog, write, surf
Do house chores
Make dinner
Supervise Homework
Bedtime stuff
The problem is that my laptop went from quirky to wonky to non-functional in the past few weeks. This means that any writing or blogging I want to do has to be done from the desktop machine down in the dungeon basement. The problem might be as easy to solve as replacing the battery, but that costs money and we’re trying to scale back. For now I’m just trying to re-work the pattern around the lack of laptop.
I’m not sure if it is related, but I’ve been finding myself listless and depressed in the mid-afternoon. It might be related to the restricted writing time. It might be related to the shortening days. It might be the looming elections and attendant antagonism I see everywhere. It might be that I’m not getting enough sleep. It might be that the school keeps scheduling events during the middle of my work hours and so I arrive at the afternoon with far less accomplished than I intended. (The correct answer is probably “All of the above”) Whatever is causing it, I’m having to make a daily effort to shake it off. Fortunately between music and friendly neighbors I keep muddling through. This morning I decided to be pro-active about it. I went to the gym for the first time in months. I’m hoping the post-workout endorphins will give me extra energy for the entire remainder of the day. Perhaps it will help me (finally) fold that mountain of laundry and get the filthy kitchen floor mopped. Maybe I’ll be able to make a loaf of sourdough bread that doesn’t crack and look like a mushroom during baking. Maybe I’ll be motivated to eat healthy instead of snarfling the cookies I made in an effort to feel better. Maybe I’ll even be healthier with more muscle tone and less fat.
I know it is a lot to ask of one gym trip. I’m going to have to keep going. This leads me back to the broken pattern. The new pattern has to be shaped around me getting to the gym regularly. I think that will be particularly important as the days get shorter and colder. Winter makes me want to hibernate. Perhaps exercise will keep me alert and cheerful.