A conversation on the stairs

“Mom, are you sad?” Patch asked as he hugged me around my neck. He’d found me sitting on the stairs with my head on my knees.

“I’m just tired.” I replied, but then honesty drove me to expand. “And maybe a little bit sad.”

“What are you sad about?”

I looked at his seven-year-old face and his big blue eyes. He did not need a list of all the things I still have to do, for which I have a short supply of energy. Nor did he need a list of all the things which I have completed which drained my reserves dry. He was just a little worried about his mom who doesn’t usually spend time sitting in the middle of the stairs.

“Sometimes being tired can cause sadness.” This seemed to be enough for Patch. He let go and slid past me to continue his game. I thought about my answer after he left. It really is true. Today has mostly felt bleak and sad, but this is not because anything has gone wrong. There is no cause for the emotions. They simply exist because I’ve over-taxed my emotional reserves. My life is good. The things that are coming are exciting and interesting. I just need to figure out how to rest before they get here. I am oh so glad that one of the upcoming things is a retreat. I really need that right now.